Tuesday, October 07, 2008

How to be more likable...

MJ borrowed a magazine from the library..."Oh brother I thought she is growing and an interested in the tween scene YIKES! The magazine is Discovery Girls it is geared for 8 years old and up. On the cover it had an article on how to be more likable. It had a couple good pointers.Here are the tips that were shared:
  1. Ask Questions and Listen to the Answers. I love to ask questions but I get so distracted that I forget to listen for the answer. I always realize this later and know it is a rude habit. So I will work on this one, because everyone wants to be more likable.
  2. Remember what's important to people. This goes along the lines of asking leading questions. Find out their interests so you have something to talk about. Also asking questions about their interests lets them know two things, 1) you care about them enough to know what they like and 2) it shows you care enough to remember to follow up.
  3. Use People's Names. Sometimes when I talk to people I can remember facts about them but the name just doesn't come to mind. I know there is one gal in particular who I have not spent much time with and have barely held a conversation with. Every time I see her she always says "Hi April" with a smile. It surprises me that she remembers but even more I feel like maybe there is something special about me for her to want to remember.
  4. Say Nice Things. My sister-in-law is fabulous at this. Every time I see her she always says something nice about the way I look (whether I believe it or not is a different story) everyone loves to hear a compliment. It can be something simple such as that color looks good on you, or noticing a new haircut. IT just makes you feel good. It is a quality that I really want to emulate.
  5. Make an Effort to Include People. I know especially in a group situation, the one I come in to contact the most with is church. I know a few people who have had a hard time moving into a ward that seemed less then welcoming and hard to get "in" a group. I try hard to include new people but it is also hard to keep a big group growing. Needless to say it is important to include everyone. Plus you never know how much you may have in common and they could be that bosom friend (I love that saying from Anne of Avonlea) you have always been looking for.
  6. Watch Your Body Language. This one is probably the hardest for me in some ways. The article said when you are interested in what the person is saying you smile, make eye contact and lean in to hear them. If you are not interested you may stare off into space, tap your foot, twirl your hair...check your watch, cell phone or start texting...I agree with those but hen it went onto say that human touch is good, like touching their arm or something obviously not caressing or anything. But still I am less of a touchy person. It would be awkward to touch some one's arm but also to be touched. Hugs are sometimes even uncomfortable or awkward.

In taking this all in I think everyone wants to be likable but it is nice to have pointers even if they are geared towards an 8 year old! What it boils down to is this "Do I make everyone I talk to feel important? Like they are worth stopping what I am doing and learn about them?" I really try but I have been especially into myself lately. The other day I was talking to a friend or at her depending on how you look at it. And I realized, I never ask about her or her family, so I did. She had had an interesting weekend and learned some new information about her daughter. It felt good to care enough to ask, but I learned a lot by listening to what she had to say.

3 comments:

Christina Bartholomew said...

Good points. I adore my older neighbor across the street, mostly because she's always telling me I'm a good mother. It's such a boost to feel loved and complimented.

Staci said...

I agree that even though these suggestions are geared towards an 8 year old, they are things we can all do to be better friends and more likeable. Thanks for sharing!

Cory and Becca said...

Great tips! Hey I just read Church news and didn't realize the Important events surrounding your voting in CA!
http://www.newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/news-releases-stories/church-readies-members-on-proposition-8
I also got this sent to me the other day:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1815820715?bctid=1822459319

I hope you and your family are doing good! :)

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