Saturday, April 06, 2013

Prayerfully seeking guidance.

My best thinking happens when I should be sleeping. It is also when I bear my testimony.  I know the more you share it the stronger it gets. So I want to share a piece of my testimony here.  I always wish that the words I speak come across as well formed, clear and eloquent as it does in my head. Usually what does come out is a series of disjointed thoughts.

I want to share an experience, I will be a bit vague but hopefully there will be enough for you to understand. For a while Jeremy and I have felt like we were in a stagnant place and that Heavenly Father was waiting for us to take a leap of faith. We needed to make a choice but we didn't know what it was yet. Finally after a time we decided to move forward. We started making some decisions and acting on them. It didn't feel right or wrong other than the good feeling of acting instead of waiting. Out of the blue we received a blessing that was a long shot. It was everything we had dreamed about. It felt so perfect. I will remember that day for many reasons. The spirit spoke so strongly to me. The dreamer in me had our life planned in 3 seconds tops! The spiritually sensitive side was quick to say this isn't the answer but a reminder that your family is not forgotten and Heavenly Father knows about you and loves you. I spent the rest of the day on the brink of tears of gratitude. The feeling of love and comfort was so strong. Well as things went along it has not been the answer to prayers that we had hoped. It is frustrating, disappointing and sad. As these dreams are yet to be realized and that hope has vanished it has left me feeling numb like where do we go from here and why was this experience needed. How are we supposed to act on faith when there are no obvious decisions to be made at this moment. As I sit here awake tonight, I am reminded of that feeling or impression that I had at the moment my mind took off and planned our future. The still small voice of the Holy Ghost testified to me of the love of my Heavenly Father. Not our future. The experience did show how the path we were looking into was not the right one, but the right one is still to be seen. Although I would take great comfort in knowing what we should do, I also take great comfort in knowing that my family is not alone in these times of unclear decisions. There is an amazing future laid out before us and like a good mystery I am sure to be surprised at where we end up, but I know we are in good hands and trying to be patient for it to be clear in front of us.

A post is hard to read when there are no pictures so to tie it in, these six cuties are the reason we choose to prayerfully follow the spirit and walk with our Father in Heaven. I am truly grateful to walk with them on this journey.

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