Remember this post about prayer? Well I have been thinking about how effective prayer is and I was thinking about the incident with the parking meter. I was thinking about how I only had a nickel and I needed more, but it was all I had to give. Then the though of repentance came to mind. We all make mistakes and wish we could erase what we have done, and sometimes we alone can not undo the problems we have caused. When I was baptised several years ago the story about the little boy who wanted to buy a bicycle was shared. The boy saves up to buy a bike and he works hard and ends up with a rather pathetic pile of change. As he goes to buy his bike and pours his collection on the counterm, it would never amount to enough, but his loving parent decides he really put forth everything he had and paid for the difference. And so it is with our Savior.
So going back to my experience, I was reminded that I needed more than I had when I went to Martinez to get a copy of Lauren's birth certificate. All I had was one little nickel which is about enough to get the kids out of the car. Wouldn't you know that the Lord provided the difference! It was like my own little repentance experience. I was doing something good, it was needed, but I hadn't prepared. I did scour the car, if that counts as doing all I could in my situation, which isn't much, but it was all I had to give.
I know He loves each and everyone of His children and only wants what is best. Sometimes we can give 80% and sometimes it is all we have to scrape up that little 1% but he doesn't quantify what we need to do, we just need to give Him all we can, show we are trying.
Hopefully it makes sense because it was a light bulb for me. I hope you have a fantastic day and know, no matter what life throws your way, you always have His strength to get you through!
WARNING: This is a RANT post but the end there is a good message!
To say the month of February has been an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. If there is a message that has been sent to me over and over it is that I am not good enough. I am not a good enough mom, a good enough wife, friend, sister, church member, athlete, I am not skinny enough, pretty enough, dynamic enough... I just simply am not good enough. There have been highlights like Valentine's Day, my little twingles turning 6, I have had some successes like moderately good looking cookies, some decent craft projects etc. But I can tear each of those apart. The crafting is probably my saving grace, it is the thing that I feel I have value. Then in looking into my calling I came across a talk by Sister Julie B. Beck. She talks about prioritizing. She talks of the necessities like reading the scriptures, prayer, those things that are necessary for you to return to live with Heavenly Father. Then she talks of the needs, like eating, sleeping and much to my dismay cleaning. I would have scoffed at the last but she said something along the lines of your home is like your temple everyday, if it is dirty and chaotic, how can you feel the spirit? Which hit home, I look around and there are piles everywhere, and it puts me in a terrible mood, I can't think and I don't want to deal with any of it! Then she talked about my favorite, the portion where I spend about 95% of my time. The "Fun-To-Do" part. They are good things, but not when they take up your time, and replace the things that are on the other two lists. It is the part that I hang on to the most because it is what I want to be, it is where life focuses on me!
So as I was laying in bed this morning, having a pity party for one, not wanting to get up for the day and cursing just about everybody and everything and repeating my February theme that I am not good enough, I was reminded I am not supposed to be! I am not supposed to be good enough, I am supposed to be lacking and I am supposed to turn to our Savior to make up where I lack. It is only through him that I can ever truly be good enough at anything. In all honestly it is not comforting, but I know that it is OK to not be good enough as long as I am leaning on the Savior. I have so much to work on when it comes to priorities. As weird as it sounds I also know that when I take are of the first two categories I will have plenty of time to do the things in the last category.
I was reminded of this verse found in Matthew Chapter 11
28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Life is all about learning, growing and reshaping, it is not always perfect, but I do know it is worth it and that is what I tell myself on those days when I want to climb in a hole and never come out. I am thankful for those around me that love me despite my imperfections or maybe because of them. I am thankful for a Savior who is willing to put in the .99 cents when all I have is a penny to make that dollar. What a perfect plan.
P.S. My theme song for February "I'm Trying to be like Jesus" was the practice hymn in Relief Society on Sunday, at a moment when I was in a particularly bad mood!
The last month or so I have been focusing on training for a triathlon sprint. I have been pretty consistent with morning workouts. It has been nice to push my body in a way that it never has been pushed before. It is not a secret I AM clumsy and I am not athletic. Needless to say I really want to accomplish this goal of being a triathlete, even a mini triathlete is awesome.
So today I went to my friend Lanette's workout. I came home exhausted. I was wondering if all this work has even been productive. I had shin splints, then I babied it for a while. This week I thought that I would be better, I started doing the jumping again at Lanette's class and I actually ran on Tuesday. Now my shins are starting to hurt again. It is so frustrating because I want to do this so bad.
It brought an article from January's Ensign to my mind (probably because I just read it a couple days before.) Making Mountains. In the article he tells us of his experience as a mountain guide. He said people would come to him and say I want to go to the highest peek and look at the view. He would tell them that is really is a great view but to truly appreciate the view they need to see the base of the mountain. It would be a harder trail but it would be worth it.
He compares that to life. We would all like to be on top and just appreciate what is around us. But it is only through trials that we are really grateful for the blessings at the end. It really is a great article that I probably didn't do justice, but we all have our problems and feel like if we could just get through this, when what we are really doing is building a great foundation for an awesome view.
He says “To appreciate the height, you must experience the bottom,” he says. “You can’t appreciate the end without understanding the process.”
So I know that I am starting to falter in exercise, only in the sense I can feel hopelessness creeping up my sensitive ego. Then this particular thought came to me and reminded me, that I have to create this great base before I will be the superstar I want to become. Then the view will be totally worth it all! Right Jer?
I love when I read an article and it totally applies to my current situation!
When I was 9 months pregnant with Jackson, Jeremy got called into the Bishopric. Jackson was born 3 days later, 5 days past his due date. Life changed dramatically. Mostly on Sundays. Jeremy was gone in the morning, away from us at our meetings and would come home as soon as he could. Some days earlier than others. I am not complaining, I know the time he was away from us was nothing compared to being the Bishop. The first few weeks I didn't mind, but it got harder to get all 6 kids dressed and ready for church AND do it ON TIME. For the next 17 months I would say most Sundays I got home from church frustrated, exhausted and far from spiritually uplifted. When we changed to 9:00am it got better, I was feeling like I was in a groove and we had a great system.
At the end of May I got released from primary where I had served in various capacities for 4 plus years. The bigger change was Jeremy getting released from the Bishopric. It was a little sad, because I knew we were abundantly blessed because of his service. Since Jeremy has been released we have had conference and Jeremy went to another ward for his new calling. It is so nice to have him sit next to me and help with our children. (Don't misunderstand, I did have other help, my mother-in-law and brother-in-law made it so church was never too hard. I appreciate all the help they give me! It is just different when both parents are there to help.) Jackson will be 18 months on Wednesday, so we cheated and sent him to nursery today. Life again has changed dramatically!
Today was awesome, I got to sit through the entire Sacrament meeting, then Jeremy took Jackson to nursery while I saved him a seat next to me. I got to hear the lesson in both Sunday School and Relief Society. Both lessons were fabulous. We talked about David and Jonathan's friendship. When I read the lesson ahead of time I didn't feel passionate about the subject. It was kind of like, yeah Saul tried to kill David again and again. David was saved by those who love him, blah, blah, blah. So when the lesson started out and talked of the qualities of friendship, it put a very relevant meaning to the lesson. I am so blessed to have great friends, and I feel I may not be as loyal as Jonathan.
The lesson in Relief Society was about acting on spiritual promptings. The more you act the more you receive. It was again so relevant to being a mother. Life is crazy at times, some may call it loud. Even though we can find excuses to not act, we need to, it is for our safety, spiritually and even physically.
Last month, I prayed a prayer that is only asking for trouble. I wanted spiritual growth, BIG spiritual growth. It was a prayer that I was scared to pray, but want it so much. Usually growth is painful, and you learn so much. Today I knew my prayers were answered during these meetings and especially when I came home and still felt great about the day. Heavenly Father always surprises us, I guess it helps keep us on our toes. I am sure the people who taught today don't read my blog, but I am grateful for their knowledge, testimony and love of the gospel. They are truly an inspiration to me!
and WOOT-WOOT! for nursery, I am grateful for those who serve there. They are the sisters I loved the most today!
We had a great lesson on prayer yesterday and it really got me thinking. I love the ability that we have to pray to our Heavenly Father, to share our deepest struggles and our brightest moments. We get to ask for needs to be met and share our gratitude for our many blessings. It is an amazing time to contemplate and receive personal revelation.
As I sat there listening I was reminded of the struggle that I have with prayer. It is not that I struggle with the concept, or struggle with the belief of its power. What I struggle with is the fact that I HAVE to do it. I never felt I have been a rebellious person, but in this area I really feel rebellious. I know when I get in to bed I need to say my prayers but there are times when I just don't want to and it really is because I don't want to HAVE to do it.
Another rebellious reason I don't like to pray is I don't want to be challenged. I know when I pray for patience the next day is going to be extremely trying, when I pray to help me with what I eat, guaranteed there will be extra awesome food temptations.
All the above makes it challenging, but I do realize it is all by my own choice. I had the sweetest experience with Lauren and prayer that I shared recently. She can be a lot little challenging at times. It was a particularly rough day, and I am sure the night before I prayed for patience, especially patience with her. I prayed that I would know how to love her, how to make sure she is getting what she needs. If I need to change please help me. With all that I asked I wasn't terribly surprised when I wanted to blow my top. Clutching my hands I went into my room and kneeled down to converse with my Heavenly Father, first asking for forgiveness for the way I lost it with Lauren (I come from a family of yellers, and I am not too different!) I got a peaceful feeling and the prompting came to me that I needed to let Lauren know that I pray for her. So I went in and told her how much I loved her and that I was sorry for yelling. Then I asked if we could pray together. She said yes. As I started to pray out loud, she repeated everything I had said. It was such a sweet moment. I kid you not when I tell you her countenance changed and my attitude did as well. Then we cuddled on her bed, she was adorable and happy and we read some books together. It was exactly what I needed. I also learned that she needs to know that we love her and she needs attention too.
I think so often that we use prayer as a last resort, because we don't stop to listen until we are in crisis mode. I know for me when I can't do it anymore and I am pleading for help, I get a quick answer. I am sure I had been given the answer so many times before I just didn't stop to listen and obey.
As I was thinking of these experiences I realized that Heavenly Father doesn't challenge us with this type of answer. Yes, He wants us to grow, He does want us to change in any way that brings us closer to Him. But the thought that touched me the most was the realization that He knows what I am capable of. He promised he will never give me more than I can handle, this is His way to help shape me into a better me! When my patience is tried to the very tips of the end, He knows I can handle it and I will grow from it. So in a round about way, I know that prayer works, it works to let us know we are not alone, that we are loved. I am so grateful for that knowledge!
P.S. The picture has nothing to do with the post but I know it is like dessert after a heavy meal, and she is super sweet!
For a while Jeremy has been getting hand me downs of the Church News. Like with most things I have a rebellious spirit so I showed little to no interest in reading "more church stuff." Church News is a weekly newspaper about things happening in the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-Day Saints all over the world. Jeremy glances through the stack reads what catches his eye then to the pile it goes (don't judge we are trying to get into the habit of recycling, we will get there!).
Last night Jeremy was doing some work on the computer. Without the computer I get a little lost as to what I am supposed to do so I picked up the stack and glanced through. I found some recipes, pictures and info on new Mission Presidents, and other various things happening. As Jeremy looked through the stack after me, we found this article. It is about a man in our ward who is 80 years old serving the youth. We have been hearing lately that you never retire from service and he is such a great example of this. Granted there are times when serving is difficult, but you can't tell me this is easy for him, yet he does it willingly!
What really got my attention was "A though from the scriptures" that is found on the last page. It reads
"And they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord. — Doctrine and Covenants 68:28
"The home and family have vital roles in cultivating and developing personal faith and testimony," Elder M. Russell Ballard said in his April 1996 general conference address. "The family is the basic unit of society; the best place for individuals to build faith and strong testimonies is in righteous homes filled with love. ... True principles of eternal life are embedded in the hearts and souls of young and old alike when scriptures are read and discussed, when prayers are offered morning and night, and where reverence for God and obedience to Him are modeled in everyday conduct. Just as the best meals are home-cooked, the most nourishing gospel instruction takes place at home. Strong, faithful families have the best opportunity to produce strong, faithful members of the Church."
As parents we expect so much of those people who touch our children's lives, their teachers, their coaches, youth leaders, celebrities, etc. This thought nails it right on the head. It is NOT their responsibility to make sure that your children get all the spiritual nourishment. They are supplements to what is happening at home. If a child does not know what their parents expect how does the short amount of time that is spent in the company of others going to give them a firm foundation when things get rough.
Here is an example: Modesty. We teach our children that they need to be modest not only in how they dress but how they behave in what they wear. Haylie and Hannah love to wear skirts, the problem is that they still love to climb, sit on the floor with their legs spread apart and such. I can not as a parent depend on the people they see once a week to teach them this is inappropriate. The other way around if we are teaching them that this is inappropriate at home, then they go to church and hear the SAME thing, they will learn that it is not OK. I know if this is my biggest concern then I have it made, but remember my kids are still young and I have no doubts it will get harder.
In today's society, the home is starting to have a comeback. People are seeing the importance of having a strong sense of family and that time as a family is important. These are the relationships that last a lifetime, these are the memories that will be shared 50 years from now at family gatherings. This is the time to feed the desire of these young appetites for learning. If they crave the spiritual teachings, maintaining a firm testimony of righteousness will be so much easier. AND if your children see you "practice what you preach" you will have more accountability when you teach them true principles.
It is hard to make time to say prayers as a family in the morning and at night, as well as have family scripture study every day, and Family Home Evening every week. It is hard to give up time and focus on these things. There is truth in their necessity and as they say the more you sacrifice the more you appreciate the outcome. Sacrificing the time I spend doing things like blogging or reading (my biggest, selfish, time-consuming activities) will be worth so much when my children are adults and "are strong, faithful members of the Church."
And as a reward for reading this here is a picture, nothing like eye candy huh?
Lauren is trying so hard to be like her big sisters, she is getting there and I can't think of better examples. Isn't she so lucky?!
I got to take Jackson to the doctor today, surprise, he is a growing healthy young boy. As we were driving there a song in the Children's Songbook from church was playing. My Heavenly Father Loves Me (click to hear the music or watch the video below with the words)
Here are the lyrics if you don't want to click: 1. Whenever I hear the song of a bird Or look at the blue, blue sky, Whenever I feel the rain on my face Or the wind as it rushes by, Whenever I touch a velvet rose Or walk by our lilac tree, I’m glad that I live in this beautiful world Heav’nly Father created for me.
2. He gave me my eyes that I might see The color of butterfly wings. He gave me my ears that I might hear The magical sound of things. He gave me my life, my mind, my heart: I thank him rev’rently For all his creations, of which I’m a part. Yes, I know Heav’nly Father loves me.
This year in Primary (the group of kids at church from ages 3-11) our theme is I Know my Savior Lives. Then each month is broken down to a monthly theme. As I was reading each month I noticed that this whole year is about helping the children go back to the basics of gaining a testimony. January's theme was "We believe in God the Eternal Father and in His Son Jesus Christ." I think this is a great way to start out. When you gain a testimony this is the very first thing you need to believe and KNOW to be true (real, sound, unchangeable...). Then going even further it breaks it down more week. The last two weeks were "Heavenly Father and Jesus love me."
That is where the song ties in. There are so many great things around us that we take for granted, tiny details like the "colors of butterfly wings", or the "touch of a velvet rose." Now that we know such beauty it would be weird to think of anything less. If a butterfly was just one plain color or if a rose just felt like paper, as always Heavenly Father went the extra mile and added more than what we needed.
I am not very talented when it comes to music, I have no rhythm and the only notes I can carry are ones in a book...on paper! I am thankful for the "magical sound of things." I have come to appreciate music and what it can add. It is so powerful and can really bring in the spirit and prepare you for teaching and learning. On the same note it is equally powerful that it can take away the spirit and lead you down a darker path. On a non musical note, I love email, the computer, surfing the net. There is generally no sound. It is so easy to misinterpret how someone is saying something when you don't hear it. Maybe the exclamation was one of joy but because you didn't hear it you though it was anger. I am so grateful for ears!
The part that touches me the most is the last four lines of the second verse. "He gave me my life, my mind, my heart, I thank him reverently" He gave each of us a body to do with it what we will, he gave us our mind to choose which path we want to take, he gave us our heart so that we can love passionately, to be able to guide our mind with a feeling. He thought of everything. For that I am especially grateful. I don't think I spend enough time acknowledging my gratitude. More than anything I know that He does love me, imperfections and all.
So often I will read a book and find something I want to remember or think others would benefit from what I have read. I am reading "What the Scriptures Teach Us about Raising a Child" by S. Micheal Wilcox. I am not very far into it but I came across a section that really got me thinking.
He is talking about Mary the mother of Jesus. The part where Jesus as a young child wanders from his parents and is found teaching scholars in the temple. I am not a gospel scholar so I will just quote his understanding.
"When Jesus was found teaching in the temple at the age of twelve, Mary's mildly chiding question, his seemingly enigmatical reply, which she did not fully understand, gives added insight (see Luke 2:43-50). This was no power struggle by either of them, yet even at this early moment in his development, when the dawning realization of his life's mission was settling upon him "he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but his mother kept all these saying in her heart"(Luke 2:51)
"There will be in our lives moments when our children say or do things under the guiding influence of the Father, things which we do not understand. These will be moments to ponder, to keep in the heart, as Mary did at this time, as she had earlier after the visit of the shepherds (see Luke 2:19). In time, awareness will come as we gratefully realize forces are at work in the lives of our offspring to shape them and prepare them beyond the scope of our own efforts. We are not alone in our responsibility to create the foundations upon which they will build their lives. There is much comfort in that thought."
I thought this was a profound thought especially since my children are so young and fresh from our Heavenly Father they are less polluted by the world than I am. I am pretty sure that Heavenly Father uses that sweet pureness to teach me a thing or two or a million!
Last week Miranda decided she wanted to plan a meal so we let her. She scoured the cookbooks and came up with spaghetti and meatballs, a green salad (with the toppings), garlic bread and brownies from scratch. She found the ingredients and told me what she needed. Turns out neither of us knew this was an activity that helps her earn her Faith in God award. Woo-hoo! Tonight we decided was the night she would cook. The brownies took FOR-E-VER to make, but she did it and it surpassed any home made brownies that I have made. I realize I have a control issue (this isn't new). Not that I need to control everything but it is so much easier for me to do it myself especially when I am more knowledgeable or experienced. This means I am a lousy teacher, funny since I am a mother to six! Anyways, I lectured myself silently about 12 thousand times to let Miranda do it even if I can do it better, faster and more efficient (yes this is arrogant and lack humility, lesson learned...again!). She would ask for my help then tell me she could do it, or ask for my help then when I jumped in she would get in front of me. At one point I threw a minor temper tantrum and stormed away (knocking over the 10 pound bag of sugar!) because I didn't want to blow a gasket. (Ridiculous that I had such little patience huh?) So I went to my bed and kneeled down to plead with my Heavenly Father to have more patience and that I can control myself. I can't say that when I walked out to help her that I was 100% perfect but it helped. She did it and she did a great job. I am in awe that my eight year old little girl made brownies from scratch, something I didn't do until a few months ago! I have so much to learn from these amazing children that I have been so wonderfully blessed with. I am also amazed that I have 7 people in my house who can teach me lessons that my Heavenly Father feels I stand in need of, even if they aren't flattering, appealing or even what I feel I stand in need of. I realize this is opposite of what I quoted above, but I know that our Father in Heaven will never leave us alone especially if we are giving our best effort for all the right reasons.
Another thing that I learned from the example or thought from this book is that sometimes it is so important to just listen and "file it away." I pray to Heavenly Father but it is not too often that I kneel and listen and wait for guidance, answers or even affirmation that I am doing the right thing. I treat prayer like a check list. I kneel to pray before I go to bed, check! I read the scriptures, check! I brush my teeth, check! I so badly need to get in the habit of listening. There is probably lots of guidance and inspiration that I am missing out on for the simple reason of not listening. Like I mentioned here, I don't do well with silence.
In summary: Don't dismiss my children, because they are children, CHECK! Be willing to learn from my children, CHECK! Pray ALWAYS, CHECK! LISTEN more often than I pray! CHECK!
For our family home evening this last week I decided instead of thinking of resolutions that we would write a letter to our future selves. The kids did pretty good but are not yet into forward thinking or writing long drawn out letters with details, details, details... I thought I would write my letter here, hopefully I won't loose it.
Dear April 2010, I hope you have had a great year. I know as it began there were concerns with how the economy would effect our family. I also know that you had such love and confidence in our loving and compassionate heavenly Father that you realized your concerns were superficial. I hope it has all turned out well.
One thing I hope you have worked on is your testimony and relationship with Heavenly Father, getting to know him better by feasting on the scripture (I have always loved that phrase, something I could eat and not worry about my figure!), praying often, and most importantly knowing when to be silent, to listen and obey.
I hope you have spent your year looking for those in need, whether it by being a friend, a hug, a smile, a warm meal, or a kind note. Not only found them but did something about it. There are so many fabulous people out there, don't limit yourself!
I am eager to hear about your experience with the handcart trek! What fun!
Your spiritual growth is important but keeping your body healthy is as well. I hope you were able to be consistent with exercising. You want to be able to keep up with all those kids who are probably running circles around you! One goal you have made was to RUN a whole three miles (5k) There was one in May, I hope you reached that goal and had FUN doing it too!
If there was one resolution that I hope you worked on and that all the above fall under is consistency. I hope you were able to find a way to be consistent and commited to any task that you start. Crafting is always a passion, I can't wait to see how far you have come this year and what new crafts you were able to complete. With much love, April 2009
We had the rare opportunity today that all the sisters in our ward got to attend Relief Society. It was nice to be surrounded by spectacular, all-around fabulous women. That in and of itself is blog worthy! While I was sitting there listening I noticed a young mom in front of me with her 6 1/2 month old baby girl. The love that she had for her little girl just radiated from her. When she would kiss her forehead, or when she would sing the songs softly into her ear. I couldn't help but have a pang of jealousy. Not that I don't have my own children to love like that because I do, but because I am past that stage. There is a slim chance that I will hold a newborn of my own and hug them and pretend that I can sing to him. It is sort of like a loss (I know woe is me, if this is my biggest problem I have nothing to worry about right?).
Then tonight before the kids went to bed we were singing Christmas songs. There is one song that I love, but means more especially since my sister-in-law had her first baby. Jeremy's mom and sisters sing this song every Christmas eve and it is beautiful (it helps that they harmonize beautifully as well!). It brought her to tears for different reasons than me, but it finally touched me and I understood what the song meant. It is called Mary's Lullaby. Here are the words:
All Mine in your loveliness, baby all mine;
All mine in your holiness, baby divine,
Sing on herald angel in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.
The wise men are coming to worship their king,
The shepards are kneeling their homage to bring.
Out yonder the star over Judah will keep;
No harm can befall thee, then sleep, baby sleep.
Chorus
Oh let me enfold thee, my baby, tonight;
While legions are singing in joyous delight.
A new star has risen to hail thee divine,
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine.
A way spectered future of sorrow and plight.
A way to the years that must follow tonight.
The pangs of Gethsemane let them be dim;
The red drops on Calvary, not Lord, for him!
Chorus
All mine in your loveliness, baby all mine;
All mine in your holiness, baby divine,
Sing on herald angel in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.
Both my boys are Christmas babies, one 7 days before and the other 14 days after. It has made me appreciate the love that Mary had for her son, and feel her pain in the sacrifice she gave so he could be all that he needed to be for ALL mankind. It is unfathomable, but now knowing how much I love my children I can not imagine knowing that he was only mine for a short time. All of my children are truly mine for only a little while, then they grow, and be independent and I have to hope that I taught them well enough that they can be all they were destined to be, of course not the same as the Savior, but still. I don't want to let them go I want to protect them, and I want to be able to smell the sweet baby scent, hear the new baby coos, etc. I know I still have about 3 1/2 weeks until Jackson is one, but I have truly appreciated this first year with him. It hasn't been perfect and there have been sleepless nights, nursing has been a struggle, and he is getting more mobile too early (especially compared to the girls!). I have purposefully not complained because I am going to miss this stage. With any of the things that I would have said were hard, I couldn't help but appreciate him being mine and being healthy, all the "hardships" were so trivial. I would take those hard things and be grateful for what I wasn't struggling with. I have many friends who are still at the beginning stages of growing their families and I am so happy for them, but I am sad that it isn't me anymore. I feel that our family is complete, which is comforting. I just need to come to grips with saying good-bye to this stage and be anxiously excited for the next stage. Good-byes are always hard but I also love change.
I love this season and the many opportunities we are given to ponder and appreciate the many blessings we have, the push to serve and always be kind. I am thankful for a Savior that chose to come to this earth not as a warrior but the humblest form possible, a helpless, sweet and innocent baby, who could do nothing for himself, yet had the knowledge and power to do anything. If there was ever and example of humility, read about Jesus!
And just some eye candy so you can get a little understanding why I am so sad to see this little face grow up:
Jeremy told me I could go see New Moon with my girlfriends, and he would see it with me later. I am glad I got to see it with the girls first. I got to pretend like I was a teeney bopper and whoot silently at the nice looking werewolves. So we had made plans to see it last week but the times didn't quite match up with our schedule. We were able to secure babysitting for tonight. Jeremy's mom, who just got back from Disneyland (totally jealous) and thrown into parent/teacher conferences this week, was willing. I know if that wasn't blessing enough!
We went shopping and finished up everything...I think!...for our kids. Then off to the movie. As we were waiting I kissed Jeremy on the cheek, it was very respectful! ; ) It reminded me of Jeremy and I's first date, the second time. He walked me to the door of my apartment after going to Scandia with some other high school friends. I am not sure if it was actually a date or just a bunch of friends getting together, but those small details don't matter (12/4/98). We got to the door and he of course told me he had a great time (well I am sure he did say that!?), and before walking away he kissed me on the cheek. This may sound cheesy but it thrilled me. Here was this great guy who I knew was a dream come true. What was so awesome about this kiss was that it made me realize what it felt like to be respected by some one. It was sweet, yet told me he cared, but didn't want things to move too fast. Mind you we had known each other for almost 10 years. I am sure if during the next month we hadn't spent every available minute together I would have thought that to be the lamest thing ever, even the kiss of mortification!
So tonight when I leaned over and kissed his cheek. I was reminded that I married a man, who to this day, still respects me and loves me. He even loves me enough to see a movie that he wouldn't be caught dead watching with out me. I love him so much and am proud to be married to him ALWAYS!
I hope my children can see the respect that we have for each other and have a strong desire to duplicate it in 50+ years when I allow them to date. More importantly I hope that each of them has enough respect for them selves to demand to be treated that way. I am so very blessed to know this and know that my kids will benefit from the relationship between Jeremy and I. I know that the celebration of Thanksgiving is over but boy am I grateful for this reminder!
As you are growing up you always remember certain things. A few of the things I will always remember is watching The Sound of Music. When that movie was on tv annually it seems like we would always watch it as a family that consisted of my mom and two sisters. Another is when my mom would wake us up in the morning she would always say "Girlie Whirlies, it's time to get up" in a sing-songy kind of way.
Today I had one of those moments I hope will survive the plethera of memories of childhood. Whenever I open the blinds I always sing, mighty poorly I might add, "There is Sunshine in my Soul Today." Although I always sing "let the sunshine in my soul today..." It always reminds me that I need to have the light of Christ shine through me. From a previous post you can tell sometimes I need more reminders through out the day. It is so fitting because of the sun shining into our home. It gets kind of dark and gloomy, but as soon as the blinds are opened the house seems brighter and full of energy, I love it.
Today I was pouring cereal and asked if Hannah could open the blinds for me and she asks with all the innocence four years of experience can allow "so we can let the sunshine in our souls today?" I loved it, I never thought the girls heard me when I would sing it, but I know they do. I hope as they grow up they will remember this and even sing it to themselves as a reminder. P.S. Jeremy: I am sure you have know this for years, but I now realize tha I totally butcher this song with my rendition, luckily the message is the same! ; )
...because you are, I mean I AM. I am not sure if it is hormonal, having 6 kids or what but today was one of those days that patience, kindness and love were qualities I did not readily posses! I was trying to get things done, but as you can see from frequent Facebook comments I spent a whole lotta time little time on the computer. Then it gets to crunch time and I loose all those desirable qualities that a good mother must have! Some of the things I have dealt with today, the twins decided to have a bonding moment by using their carseats to go potty! Granted I was talking and they were strapped in their carseats screaming at me, but how was I supposed to know that they actually were trying to tell me something? While cleaning that up, which for those of you that don't have little ones that means taking apart the carseats, and getting our hand held carpet cleaner, Hayley decided to give Jackson a toy to play with. The toy of choice was the portable powdered formula container. As a proud mother I can tell you that Jackson be nimble, Jackson be quick, He can open it, what a trick! So the creative little genius made formula paste before I realized what was going on. Then for the third time today, yes it is noon, I told the girls to clean their room. Then we had lunch, then we had to get the older two form school. Then came the fourth, then the fifth time I asked them to clean their room. I gave them fifteen minutes to clean up their mess. about 45 minutes later I told them I forgot to set the timer so they will get 15 more minutes. In the meantime, Lauren has figured out the the baby locks are only 85% effective. Her little arms can reach in the gap. One of her favorite things to do is get Daddy's deodorant. She likes to either draw in it or lick it (not sure who I feel more sorry for?!). Today she chose to squirt it with a squirt bottle, then proceed to squirt the toilet, which I found out at the most inopportune time. After that she went about beating up her big brother by hitting him and biting him. So she got sent to her room as well. Meanwhile back in the bedroom: I would have caved had I seen a little bit of progress but there was nothing progressing towards my goal of a clean room. At this point in writing this I realize our goals were on the opposite sides of the spectrum. A communication error must have occurred. For some reason they thought I said make it a BIGGER mess. After the last group of fifteen minutes I told them to get their pajamas on and get in bed. (It's 5 O'clock) We were planning to have grandma Jacobs over for dinner and Family Home Evening. I told the girls they will miss it. Then continuing on with my tirade I slammed the door, after giving them one more chance. I went and did the dishes and finished some prep work, 15 minutes later I came back and one was lying on the floor, another cooking at the play kitchen and the third, playing Barbie. That was it! They went to bed, no more. I told them I would finish the dishes and then they would finish cleaning the room, but still miss out on the evening. As I was sulking, fuming, frustrated, sad, but more mad then sad, I was walking down the hall and what would appear...my temper tantrum knocked a picture of Jesus askew. I righted the picture and a thought came to me "How can I expect the Savior to dwell in our home, how will this home be a refuge for my children, how will my children know I love them just like the Savior loves me?" Then the thought vanishes as I told the girls I would clean up their room for them involving 2 large black trash bags. There were several things on the floor that I picked up with a mocking tone of cheerfulness, such as the blanket Hannah sleeps with, or the shoes that they will need tomorrow as we walk to school in the morning (and it is supposed to be a good storm tonight!) Let me remind you I have a pretty thick skull and nothing short of a sledge hammer can get through it at times. I will proudly admit I cleaned up their room in about 5 minutes, and in about 35 seconds our garage became a disaster!
I continued the evening as planned still pouting and fuming as stated above. We ate a good dinner. Shame was starting to seep over me but at the same time it is too frustrating that they will not just clean up, especially when I KNOW they can do it when the "reward" is good enough. For Family Home Evening we decided to practice some songs that the kids will be singing for our Primary Program at church. We decided to sing "My Eternal Family" the words are:
"I am a builder working each day to build my family
and I will do the best I can to serve them lovingly
I am a builder growing so tall and leaning everyday
To SPEAK with KINDNESS in MY HOME To help at work and play
Chorus
My Heavenly Father sent me here and he knows I can be
Strong and Righteous as I build my eternal family.
I am a builder building a home, I seek the Lord in prayer
And as I try to live God's word I feel the Spirit there.
I am a builder serving the Lord and Following his plan,
To help my family come back home and live with Him again.
Chorus"
The funny or better yet more interesting part was that none of us could remember the line I put in bold above. We were all looking at each other for help and guidance. So I pulled out the lyrics and sure enough it was the sledge hammer I mentioned above. Maybe the first time if I had spoke with kindness, aka been more Christ like in my delivery, it would have only taken one time. I know I could have handled this a little a lot better. As much as I would love to say it was all their fault if only they did clean up their room, if only they didn't make a mess, it boils down to the way I handled it. It is my fault. I could have shown these three precious little imperfect girls that I love them and I failed miserable. I did not speak with kindness, I didn't do a single thing to build my eternal family, in fact I was tearing it down. Tomorrow I need to apologize and make it right with them, apologize that I yelled and made them feel bad, not that I made them clean their room. I love them, I love their laugh, they way they play pretend, the way they hold hands on the way to and from school, or the hugs they insist on giving each other. Amongst my destructive behavior, they are great kids. It is so true that I have more to learn from them then they have to learn from me.
I am grateful for the sledge hammer I received tonight as well as a very loving Heavenly Father, who despite my weaknesses, which are abundant, he loves me and never looses his patience with me. He is always willing to teach me, and most of the time I am willing to listen!
It was sometime last week when I was overwhelmed and actually had the thought "maybe six kids IS too many!" I remember thinking how odd I had never thought that before, but I was truly overwhelmed and feeling like I was not giving everyone my best.
So today was quite the nice reassurance that I am doing good things. I don't mean to brag but I want to remember this day. So feel free to skip this post.
I got the kids to school, more or less on time. I have been driving them to school to make sure that happens. Yes I realize it is 6 houses away but still it can make all the difference. Especially when 5 of the seven (that includes me) don't have to be dressed with their hair done. This morning Haylie and Hannah had their 4 year well check. I had enough time to get all dressed but they all were styling the Medusa hair style.
So I made them get in the car. We dropped off the older two and headed out to the doctor appointment. We got their early enough that I styled their hair in the car so when I arrived to visit our fabulous pediatrician, on time mind you, we looked like a pretty together family. I had 4 of the 6 kiddos, and I still got the "Wow, you have your hands full!" Haylie and Hannah are growing well. Then they got shots. It was a little tricky holding the human pin cushion and making sure the other didn't watch her counterpart get poked with a needle, while keeping Lauren out of the refrigerator that contains all the vaccinations. Jackson was a peach staring at the boring white wall, not complaining a bit. Phew that was over. Now I had the chance to feed Jackson in the car (not while driving like some crazy lady). We stopped by Jeremy's work so he could give the girls a hug for receiving four shots, they were pretty tough little cookies. Then I headed home and whipped up 24 miniature chocolate cream pies so we could surprise Grandma Bev and her class with a birthday treat. Then I picked up Jeremy and headed off to deliver said goodies. It was fun to be in her classroom. I think all kids involved enjoyed it. I then returned Jeremy to work. I like borrowing him when I can, haha! Off to the park, even though most people are already gone from our scheduled playdate. Luckily I caught two friends still there for a little bit. When they left I called my mom. It is a rare occurance. I figured I would make use of the quiet while the kids were playing and Jackson was eating. The conversation ended abruptly when Lauren started getting too adventurous and meandering towards the busy road across the park from me. Time to go get Miranda. So I headed home to pick up Jeremy's suit coat, he is heading to the temple tonight with the youth and wouldn't have a chance to stop by the house before meeting up with them. We pick up Miranda and head to Jeremy's work AGAIN to deliver the coat and have all the potty trained kids go potty before I head to Costco. Off to Costco where we shop and hit a few sample tables. I should probably be way embarrased when I take 5 samples but I am only slightly embarrased, who doesn't like free food? For dinner I splurged $6 to feed us. We ate our hot dogs and drank at least half our drinks before Haylie was doing the pee-pee dance. Most days I would be near tears at this point. Things were working out today. Miranda took Haylie and Hannah to the bathroom while I hopped in a...can you believe it...super short line, and ordered some soft serve frozen yogurt for all of us. Then I met the girls at the bathroom. As I was leaving the bathroom (this is the beginning of the good part) a gentleman complimented me on my "beautiful family". He chatted while walking us over to the food court to pick up our treat. We sat down and I divied up the ice cream and the kids ate up. We cleaned up and were heading out the door. As we got our smiley face on our receipt, the same gentleman came up to me and said he was watching me my kids and said "There's not a C.E.O. that could handle a company as well as I handled my kids." While I know that is not true I am still on cloud nine! My kids have been raised in a loving environment, I take a third of the credit for that. But each of our kids gets to make the choice to be good and make things easier for me. They make me look like a great mom.
So the part that I want to remember most is that even though I feel I am not doing my best on some days, it is the marathon that counts not the sprint. Overall I am doing great even if some days are hard. I love being a mom, even with the hard days!
Tonight I went to a Yoga class. I learned a lot about myself. One I am so not flexible. Two a lot of "me" gets in the way of stretching, and three I am not a fan of silence.
This may seem weird since I am surrounded by children and I am telling them to shhhh all day long. When I am in the presence of others I need noise and conversation. Not deep conversation but something to talk about. So I am sure I do a lot of mindless chattering. What I realized is that while in the presence of others silence makes me uncomfortable, when I am alone, like in the car, I don't need the radio on. In act I find myself being content to drive in silence. Is that weird?
I can handle silence while my hubby and I are reading a book or in a theater, but that is normal. As we were laying there on our nice mats breathing, the silence was starting to drive me crazy not chattering away. After we were all done I think I started talking immediately. Then I thought of my dear friend next to me who doesn't mind silent and is typically known for her quietness. I was thinking I am not naturally suited for yoga while my friend on the other hand it is probably the perfect thing for her. Don't get me wrong I am going to work on it and try to stretch my self and get comfortable with silence.
I guess it also means that I am perfectly equipped to be the mom to several never silent children except when sleeping.
On Saturday we decided to get out of the house, all of us. The only thing we needed to do and that the weather allowed since our kids are feeling under the weather, was grocery shopping. So that was our outing. I got through one aisle and Jackson decided he was not going to make it through the whole store and he wanted to eat NOW! He is such a boy already. So I took Jackson to the car and Miranda wanted to go with me. As I was feeding Jackson and talking to Miranda I realized, not for the first time, how many people are probably still shocked that I have so many kids. For Jeremy it is probably not as shocking, he always wanted and lived to be a father. I, on the other hand, looked forward to having two kids, having a career at some point prior to children. I don't want this to be confused with I didn't want my children, every single one was planned and wanted, well except Hannah (wanted yes planned no!) she was completely a surprise, ha-ha!
Right after we had Logan I had a hard time adjusting, I cried and it was hard. I thought two was my limit. Jeremy and I talked, he still wanted more. We came up with a deal and I accepted. Then we had twins, Holy cow! It was not as hard maybe because Miranda had Logan while I had the twins. That adjustment was surprisingly easier, then it was "what's one more?" Don't get me wrong, twins is hard but emotionally it was easier.
Back to my original thought, I was talking to Miranda and realizing, while I am her Mom and have the responsibility of being such, she is one of my best friends. I have 7 best friends built right into my family. How lucky I am to have a party with the people I hold closest to my heart everyday. In the beginning, when I knew everything in my late teens and early twenties, I only had panned two kids, who would have thought that not only would I have so many kids but enjoy them. I didn't baby sit much and when I did I did NOT enjoy it. They have their cranky moments and get into trouble, especially that Lauren (NOTE TO SELF: She's almost TWO and is the first to experience terrible twos). Overall they are exceptionally great kids. I love them so much. As much as I like to take credit for them I know Heavenly Father gave them their personalities and I just got to reap the benefit of them.
I feel abundantly blessed. While my kids are what I do 24/7 minus a few hours here and there. I couldn't do it alone and if it weren't for an extremely supportive and involved husband I am not sure I would have the same joy and happiness. I am grateful for him, for his friendship and love that he gives me. It has been a rough adjustment since Jackson has been born. He is a pretty good baby but we haven't had the normal alone time at night after the kids go to bed. It will happen at about three months, 1 down two to go. Not only the baby but the time Jeremy gets to dedicate to his church calling. It has taken a chunk out of family time, so it makes what we have left very precious. There are some days where he doesn't get to see his kids except for when he is shoveling food down so he can get to his next commitment. Luckily it is only three days a week. At least it isn't tax season where he will not see them for 3 months, or military duty where he ships off. We are lucky that he gets to be flexible with his work schedule and help with doctor appointments, sick kids, etc. He gets a generous amount of vacation days which allow for family vacations and random days off for birthdays, etc.
My overall point was that I may surprise you by having 6 kiddos, I even surprise myself since I didn't see it coming, but Heavenly Father knows best and knows this is what I need and how to make my life more fulfilling. This isn't to say that smaller families aren't, I am all for doing what is best for you. Challenges come in all shapes and sizes and so do personal limits. Do what you can and be proud, I am!
I have been very blessed to have an easy time conceiving, pregnancy has been a breeze (don't get me wrong it is not comfortable all the time and there are pains but no concerns or health problems), and delivery is almost perfectly story book. I have had this experience several times. As I am getting to the end of this pregnancy I have been reflecting on the miracle of life. It is still so unbelievable to me that there is this precious little life growing inside of me. It is incomprehensible in so many ways. It is amazing how the body can take care of a growing human life, and the human life can change and grow so drastically in such a short time. It also surprises me how often I can not remember I am pregnant. I will forget that this big belly can "squeeze" at all any more. So often I forget how far it is out there and I bump in to people. My favorite is when I am sitting down with Lauren standing in front of me. Normally I would have plenty of room to stand up but now I stand up and hit her with my belly and she falls down. OOPS!
I can't wait to meet baby Jackson. To see who he will be and how his personality will fit in with our family. I used to give Logan a bad time for his emotional outbursts, the twins had their mischievousness time two, Lauren is so much more strongly opinionated then any of our children. There is no secret when she doesn't want what you offer. She can't talk but she let's you know in an effective way, usually it involves swinging arms and a loud noise. Miranda was not perfect but I had nothing to compare her to so it is hard to see the little quirks she had. All of our kids are special and have so many fun qualities. They are like their dad in that they LOVE music. They love to play in a big group, small group and even by themselves. I think that is a benefit to a large family. They all have options. They love to do craft projects, I will claim that as coming from me. Miranda loves to read, while Logan has an amazing number sense. Before kindergarten he was using the clock to do math. he came up with that on his own. It will be fun to see Haylie and Hannah with their educational strengths. Time goes by so fast.
Parenthood is truly a miracle and a blessing. I am not the best parent and I have so many faults and fail at so many things, but I love my kids and by some miracle they love me too. Heavenly Father knows what he is doing when creating these strong bonds. I know what I feel towards my kids is only a fraction of what He feels towards each of us. It is hard to comprehend. I am grateful for that love too.
On the same note of parenthood I have been thinking a lot about the Savior's birth. I have been thinking about Mary too. Since both my boys will be born in the near vicinity of Christmas, it helps to understand the sacrifice Mary made. When I had the twins a weird thought came to me. They were child #3 and #4. The nurses will give the spiel about not giving your child to anyone without a certain name tag. I couldn't help but think some one would look at my "abundant load" of children, and think since I had two at a time they can take one, or even giving one up for adoption. It almost brought tears thinking of giving up one of them. It was a ridiculous thought I know but then I think of Mary. She gave birth to her son and knew from before conception that she would be giving up her son. She had a few years that he needed her, but He would be so much more. There would come a time in His young life that she couldn't teach him anything, He would be teaching her. It makes me appreciate my boys even more. While I am aware that Christmas is not really near Jesus' real birthday, it is a great reminder.
As we are getting ready to vote tomorrow..(not me, mine has probably already been counted vote by mail wa-hoo!) Jeremy and I always try to have our own post-family home evening and discuss what is on the ballot and how to vote, make sure we are both understanding what the candidates stand for or the propositions etc. This year I thought with as much as the kids are hearing, yes elementary school kids are coming home saying I would vote for Barak Obama. Miranda's reason was that he has a daughter, Sasha the same age as her.
So I thought we could talk about Patriotism. It was linked to Captain Moroni and the Title of Liberty. This can be found in the Book of Mormon Alma 46. It is a great story about a man known as Captain Moroni. He was a righteous man. There was another man named Amalickiah. He wanted to be king and gathered people to follow him using "flattering words." Moroni was angry and "rent his coat" and on it he wrote "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children"
It seemed the perfect way to liken the scripture story to the elections. We talked of the story and then I shared a more grown up quote from a modern prophet Ezra Taft Benson. It says "Patriotism is more than flag-waving and fireworks. It is how we respond to public issues. If we ask only 'what's in this proposal for me?--What do I get out of it?'--we are not patriotic and we are not good citizens. But if we ask, 'Is this right?--is it good for the ...people?--would it preserve and strengthen our freedom?'--then we deserve to stand in the company of [great patriots]. Patriotism is trying always to give more to the Nation than we receive. It is selfless service."
Although Captain Moroni was "flag-waving" he was fighting for what was right, and willing to give more, his life, than he was given in return. This really hit home for me and this time of year. It was especially great because Miranda gave the lesson and told this scripture story in her own words. She got it, and because she taught it, Logan got it too. It was awesome! I added the quote more for the grown-ups but I did tell the kids while they are too young to vote they are never too young to be good citizens of this blessed land.
I am not sure why, if it is said, or just in pictures or if it has been my interpretation but the Title of Liberty is always yellow in my mind. So for our treat I made "edible Title of Liberties" As I got to thinking about it I noticed a coincidence. The Prop 8 signs are done with mostly yellow with blue writing on it. Our sign is a little worn, as I am sure Captain Moroni's coat was too.
As the end of this election year is coming to a close, I can not lie and say I will miss it. I have shared with many friends that this campaign for Prop 8 has been the hardest thing I have been asked to do since I became a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. While I still feel I have not done much nor enough, I have been emotionally involved, and it is exhausting. Some compare this to the early saints of the Church who left everything behind, as they were threatened with their lives again and again, and move to a new place. Finally ending with the long walk to Salt Lake from Nauvoo, Illinois. These people left everything they could not carry in a small wagon and sometimes handcart. Some walked through snow, lots buried their husbands, many children. Yet they still endured. Some had carried their things almost the whole way only to find out they couldn't bring them over the mountains and had to leave what they cherished most. So I can honestly say this is not THAT hard...for me. This IS the hardest thing I have done so far. While I am aware of many blessing I receive from my Heavenly Father, I am sure I am unaware of those tiny yet valuable moments that He has protected me from hard things.
On to my point. It is raining here, pretty hard at times. I was sitting at my table reading, while Jeremy has headed out to stand in the pouring rain, preparing to get absolutely drenched, yet doing what he has been asked to do, and with a good, willing attitude. I am sure this has not been an easy campaign for anyone, whether it is blogging, participating in public forums, knocking doors, making phone calls or holding or placing signs, it is ALL hard and makes you as an individual vulnerable. I get sidetracked...so Jeremy called to say he was there and people were indeed out there in the rain holding signs. Within about 10 minutes of his call, I looked up from my book and it had stopped raining. At that moment I felt the love of my Heavenly Father. It was one of those small blessings that reminded me that He knows that this is hard and He loves us for doing what we are asked to do, which is protect marriage, the marriage he created when he united Adam and Eve. He is always there to comfort us when we need it. I know how much He loves Jeremy and the other hundreds of people who are doing the same thing. So in a time when rain is much needed I am grateful that He stopped the rain for a time.
One of the blogs I follow, Cheryl, reminded me of the talks I heard at conference. I am so glad they are finally in print because I remember thinking that I need to read and re-read these talks. Although I look forward to Conference it is still hard to pay attention with the kids and get the message. There are people who can do it but I have always had a short attention span, or focus of interest. I get side-tracked REALLY easily. What was I saying...oh, yes. So the talks are now in print and I remember Saturday afternoon being most touched with the messages of hope. Looking quickly over the topics I came across this talk Come What May, and Love It by Joseph B. Wirthlin. What a great talk and what a wonderful time to be reminded of it. I posted previously about the Prop 8 sign being stolen and the banner that a friend got to replace it. I know it is a serious matter but it makes me smile and even chuckle. Another friend hosted a calling party for Prop 8. It sounded like so much fun. I loved how she made something that most people find dreadful into something to laugh through. Not saying it wasn't hard but they still had fun. What the nation is going through right now is crazy, economy issues, same-sex-marriage, presidential election. I am not sure if I am caring more about what is happening as I see it affecting me and my family or if times are changing that much that I can no longer live in that bubble of ignorance or innocence.
I do have to say that come what may after all this is done I WILL love it! I have a loving family, I couldn't be happier with the man who choose me as his wife. He treats me better than I ever knew a husband can treat a wife. I have five children who are no doubt exhausting but they love me so unconditionally I can't describe it. I am so blessed. All the other stuff is just STUFF. We roll with it, and even learn to make jokes about it and laugh lots.
Elder Wirthlin interprets his mother when she would say "Come What May and Love it" to mean this :
...that every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result.
He goes on to say: But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life.
If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.
With all the stuff going on there are so many people that I admire their class when dealing with adversity. The lack of retaliation or bad mouthing. Pure class! Some may see it as weak, but I see it as strength. Acting on those negative emotions such as anger does nothing to fight your cause and not controlling those emotions creates hasty and not well thought out decisions.
In closing his talk he says "Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives." Of this I have a strong testimony. I know first hand well I guess first hand once removed (hee-hee) that adversity can send someone to depths they never thought possible, and going through it is so awful that it is hard to even find reason to press on. Looking back at that dark time, so much strength and so many blessings have come because of that time, I wouldn't trade it for anything...nor would I wish to live that time again. I am so grateful for the eternal perspective in all these trials, this is a short time that we have been given to show our faith in Heavenly Father, in His Plan for us, and in the love he has for our imperfect selves. He has promised us blessings, we just need to do our part. There is no better way to do it then laugh through it, keep that eternal perspective, know that we will be compensated in His time, and trust in the Father and the Son. All of which Elder Wirthlin speaks about in his talk.
What a great talk! I can't wait to read other talks, I'm feeling stronger already!
Isn't he just the cutest thing ever!!
As I got to thinking about it I noticed a coincidence. The Prop 8 signs are done with mostly yellow with blue writing on it.