I have said the canned phrase I am not perfect on this blog so many times but I know that and don't pretend to think perfection is an attribute I possess. With that being said I have been struggling with a particular person. I truly believe it is personality clashing. This person is not bad just I do not respond well to this person. So anyways a situation happened brought tears to Tuesday and plain spiteful anger to Wednesday. Then the following event occurred Wednesday night:
I am not sure why but Jackson loves me to sing him to sleep. OK I know it isn't that he loves me to sing, he just loves that I fall for it and he gets to stay up later. That is the bonus of being the baby of the family, I want to treat him like a baby far longer than I should. Tonight as I was standing next to our piano that usually sits very lonely against our wall, I was flipping through Our Children's Song book that we use at church. I was trying to broaden my song selection. I came across the song "I'm trying to be like Jesus" (click that link to hear the music)
Here are the Lyrics:
I'm trying to be like Jesus,
I'm following in his ways
I'm trying to love like he did
In all that I do and say
At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice
But I try to listen to the still small voice whisper
Love one another as Jesus loves you
Try to show kindness in all that you do
Be gentle and caring in deed and in thought
for these are the things Jesus taught
I'm trying to love my neighbor
I'm learning to serve my friends
I watch for the day of gladness when Jesus returns again
I try to remember the lessons he taught
Then the Holy Spirit enters into my thoughts saying
It was one of those moments that kind of take the wind out of your sails. I have known this song for a long time but it isn't one we sing all the time, but man was it perfect. I love the children's songs. They are simple and straight forward, right to the point. And usually if you are an adult they hit you on the head like a hammer.
With all my frustrations and straight venomous anger, I forgot my purpose. I was definitely not being gentle and caring in THOUGHT and in deed. It felt awful, and honestly if I would have come across that song Tues, I probably wouldn't have paid attention.
In any situation, it really can turn out as good or bad as you allow your self to think it is. Life is not perfect and can be down right painful at times, but choosing to make the most of it can keep your head afloat. So my renewed commitment is to keep this song in my head and heart. Even the most irritating people have something great to offer if you just allow your self to focus on those good attributes instead of the...well...not as good attributes.
This particular person is a great example in so many ways and I honestly do admire many qualities. So we will see if I can control my emotions and have that great growing experience Heavenly Father has in store for me. Hang on life is an awesome ride!