Sunday, December 13, 2009

Mary's Lullaby

We had the rare opportunity today that all the sisters in our ward got to attend Relief Society. It was nice to be surrounded by spectacular, all-around fabulous women. That in and of itself is blog worthy! While I was sitting there listening I noticed a young mom in front of me with her 6 1/2 month old baby girl. The love that she had for her little girl just radiated from her. When she would kiss her forehead, or when she would sing the songs softly into her ear. I couldn't help but have a pang of jealousy. Not that I don't have my own children to love like that because I do, but because I am past that stage. There is a slim chance that I will hold a newborn of my own and hug them and pretend that I can sing to him. It is sort of like a loss (I know woe is me, if this is my biggest problem I have nothing to worry about right?).

Then tonight before the kids went to bed we were singing Christmas songs. There is one song that I love, but means more especially since my sister-in-law had her first baby. Jeremy's mom and sisters sing this song every Christmas eve and it is beautiful (it helps that they harmonize beautifully as well!). It brought her to tears for different reasons than me, but it finally touched me and I understood what the song meant. It is called Mary's Lullaby. Here are the words:

All Mine in your loveliness, baby all mine;
All mine in your holiness, baby divine,
Sing on herald angel in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.

The wise men are coming to worship their king,
The shepards are kneeling their homage to bring.
Out yonder the star over Judah will keep;
No harm can befall thee, then sleep, baby sleep.

Oh let me enfold thee, my baby, tonight;
While legions are singing in joyous delight.
A new star has risen to hail thee divine,
For you are a king, but tonight you are mine.

A way spectered future of sorrow and plight.
A way to the years that must follow tonight.
The pangs of Gethsemane let them be dim;
The red drops on Calvary, not Lord, for him!


All mine in your loveliness, baby all mine;
All mine in your holiness, baby divine,
Sing on herald angel in chorus sublime;
Sing on and adore, for tonight you are mine.

Both my boys are Christmas babies, one 7 days before and the other 14 days after. It has made me appreciate the love that Mary had for her son, and feel her pain in the sacrifice she gave so he could be all that he needed to be for ALL mankind. It is unfathomable, but now knowing how much I love my children I can not imagine knowing that he was only mine for a short time. All of my children are truly mine for only a little while, then they grow, and be independent and I have to hope that I taught them well enough that they can be all they were destined to be, of course not the same as the Savior, but still. I don't want to let them go I want to protect them, and I want to be able to smell the sweet baby scent, hear the new baby coos, etc. I know I still have about 3 1/2 weeks until Jackson is one, but I have truly appreciated this first year with him. It hasn't been perfect and there have been sleepless nights, nursing has been a struggle, and he is getting more mobile too early (especially compared to the girls!). I have purposefully not complained because I am going to miss this stage. With any of the things that I would have said were hard, I couldn't help but appreciate him being mine and being healthy, all the "hardships" were so trivial. I would take those hard things and be grateful for what I wasn't struggling with. I have many friends who are still at the beginning stages of growing their families and I am so happy for them, but I am sad that it isn't me anymore. I feel that our family is complete, which is comforting. I just need to come to grips with saying good-bye to this stage and be anxiously excited for the next stage. Good-byes are always hard but I also love change.

I love this season and the many opportunities we are given to ponder and appreciate the many blessings we have, the push to serve and always be kind. I am thankful for a Savior that chose to come to this earth not as a warrior but the humblest form possible, a helpless, sweet and innocent baby, who could do nothing for himself, yet had the knowledge and power to do anything. If there was ever and example of humility, read about Jesus!

And just some eye candy so you can get a little understanding why I am so sad to see this little face grow up:

Isn't he just the cutest thing ever!!


luntaz said...

He really is just the cutest thing ever! I just want to kiss his chubby cheeks! Hope you guys have the merriest of Christmases!

The State of Our Family said...

What a cutie! I could eat him up!

Keiser Family said...

He is "Little Jeremy"! So cute!

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