Sunday, February 15, 2009

Thinking again...

On Saturday we decided to get out of the house, all of us. The only thing we needed to do and that the weather allowed since our kids are feeling under the weather, was grocery shopping. So that was our outing. I got through one aisle and Jackson decided he was not going to make it through the whole store and he wanted to eat NOW! He is such a boy already. So I took Jackson to the car and Miranda wanted to go with me. As I was feeding Jackson and talking to Miranda I realized, not for the first time, how many people are probably still shocked that I have so many kids. For Jeremy it is probably not as shocking, he always wanted and lived to be a father. I, on the other hand, looked forward to having two kids, having a career at some point prior to children. I don't want this to be confused with I didn't want my children, every single one was planned and wanted, well except Hannah (wanted yes planned no!) she was completely a surprise, ha-ha!

Right after we had Logan I had a hard time adjusting, I cried and it was hard. I thought two was my limit. Jeremy and I talked, he still wanted more. We came up with a deal and I accepted. Then we had twins, Holy cow! It was not as hard maybe because Miranda had Logan while I had the twins. That adjustment was surprisingly easier, then it was "what's one more?" Don't get me wrong, twins is hard but emotionally it was easier.

Back to my original thought, I was talking to Miranda and realizing, while I am her Mom and have the responsibility of being such, she is one of my best friends. I have 7 best friends built right into my family. How lucky I am to have a party with the people I hold closest to my heart everyday. In the beginning, when I knew everything in my late teens and early twenties, I only had panned two kids, who would have thought that not only would I have so many kids but enjoy them. I didn't baby sit much and when I did I did NOT enjoy it. They have their cranky moments and get into trouble, especially that Lauren (NOTE TO SELF: She's almost TWO and is the first to experience terrible twos). Overall they are exceptionally great kids. I love them so much. As much as I like to take credit for them I know Heavenly Father gave them their personalities and I just got to reap the benefit of them.

I feel abundantly blessed. While my kids are what I do 24/7 minus a few hours here and there. I couldn't do it alone and if it weren't for an extremely supportive and involved husband I am not sure I would have the same joy and happiness. I am grateful for him, for his friendship and love that he gives me. It has been a rough adjustment since Jackson has been born. He is a pretty good baby but we haven't had the normal alone time at night after the kids go to bed. It will happen at about three months, 1 down two to go. Not only the baby but the time Jeremy gets to dedicate to his church calling. It has taken a chunk out of family time, so it makes what we have left very precious. There are some days where he doesn't get to see his kids except for when he is shoveling food down so he can get to his next commitment. Luckily it is only three days a week. At least it isn't tax season where he will not see them for 3 months, or military duty where he ships off. We are lucky that he gets to be flexible with his work schedule and help with doctor appointments, sick kids, etc. He gets a generous amount of vacation days which allow for family vacations and random days off for birthdays, etc.

My overall point was that I may surprise you by having 6 kiddos, I even surprise myself since I didn't see it coming, but Heavenly Father knows best and knows this is what I need and how to make my life more fulfilling. This isn't to say that smaller families aren't, I am all for doing what is best for you. Challenges come in all shapes and sizes and so do personal limits. Do what you can and be proud, I am!


Anonymous said...

April, I really enjoyed your reflection on your family. Thanks for sharing :)

MJ said...

Mom it's awsome!!!!!!

Rebecca & Jeff said...

Thank you so much for sharing this with us! It is so nice to know that other people feel like this too. This was really great. Thank you!

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