In high school I was far from the popular crowd, not really a nerd, nor a band geek, I just was. People were nice but I never really fit it anywhere. It bothered me then but now I look back and it is fine but I do hope my kiddos feel like they belong more, nobody likes to feel alone.
I was thinking, hold on to your hats folks, I wonder how many people feel that they don't fit it even as adults. Do they see someone who seems put together but on the inside they are feeling worthless and friendless? Have you ever wondered if people just say nice things because they were taught to be nice? For example when people say "you are amazing, how do you do it all?" Do you secretly wonder what they see and make you feel even worse because you know how much you are not doing?
There is a song by Taylor Swift Tied Together with a Smile. Every time I hear it these lyrics stand out:
Hold on baby you're losing it
The water's high you're jumping in to it
And letting go and no one knows
That you cry but you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone
I always wonder how many people feel this way, put on a happy face but inside you are falling apart. I want to be clear I am very happy, I couldn't ask for a better husband, father to our children, best friend, dream job, a home that I love, but their are times when it would be nice to know what people REALLY think of you. Why does it matter, really it doesn't, but then you would at the very least know what they see. I found the following quote in a talk given by Marlin K. Jensen
The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism.’" That thought ought to inspire and motivate all of us because I feel that friendship is a fundamental need of our world. I think in all of us there is a profound longing for friendship, a deep yearning for the satisfaction and security that close and lasting relationships can give.It wasn't that long ago that there were a fairly large group of us that got together frequently, it was as couples for dinner or date nights, as wives for crafting, or simply just girl time. We saw each other close to two times a week outside of church where we actually were in all different callings so we didn't see each other too much there. I would say there was a definite sense of belonging. People started to move away, new people moved here and the dynamics have never been the same. I can't help but wonder if the people who have been in the ward for years feel just as lost as the ones who are moving in and it is just taken for granted that everything is great. Why does it always have to feel like us verse them? Who even knew there were exclusive groups? I guess if you are included you don't see it.
I can't say it is all the fault of some one else because you need to put in 100% if you want anything in return. Maybe I am putting in 20% and that isn't what creates a good friendship.