Before Jeremy and I got married we talked about future plans. We knew our plans had to align with the major topics. One that I have found is a big hurdle in some marriages is being a stay at home mom. There is always this "war" of stay at home mom vs. a working mom. I don't think if you are one of those it means you are automatically bad if you are the other. I do however feel that it is the mother's roll to care for and nurture her children. On that Jeremy and I have always been unified. I did work part time for the first 5 months after Miranda was born. I was lucky enough to take her with me, but at the same time, I was no longer able to give 100% to my job, nor 100% to my child. She would get fussy and I would have no choice but let her cry so I could just finish my work and be mom again. It was a struggle.
This maybe funny to those of you who really know me, but I did want to be a mom of exactly 2...eventually. I wanted to be a successful career woman, then when I was done, be a mom. (This was completely opposite of Jeremy's plan for a wife ; ) I never liked babysitting and really had little interest in holding other babies. Granted they were cute but really I had no desire. I would have never come close lo labeling me as a baby person, or that I had the makings of all-star mom (I still wouldn't qualify as all-star!) By the time Jeremy and I were on the marriage track together, I was tired of school, tired of work, and just wanted what my sisters had, I wanted to be a mom. Now I have 6 kids and a lot to learn, but I know how important I am to my kids and how important they are to me.
A couple of months ago I had Jury Duty. It was 5 days total and most of the time I was home within an hour of the older ones getting home from school. On my last day Logan and Miranda were so happy that I didn't have Jury Duty the next day. I realized how much they treasure me being able to stay at home. Just knowing I was available made them happy, even though they don't need me on most occassions. Staying at home is not without some sacrifice, but it is a decision we both stand by.
I am always amazed at how much a mommy's kiss can make a boo-boo all better. One little kiss can stop the tears from falling and heal anything quickly enough that they can continue on their merry way. I love having that power. There was a story that was shared at conference this past month, hopefully I won't botch it. I can't even remember who shared it or which session. This man shared how he was telling a story to his child. He used one of those books that doesn't have words just pictures, so everytime it really could be a different story. As he was telling his child the story he would use a word like coat. The child would interupt and say no it's a jacket. He gave an example or two more. A tad bit frustrated he asks "How do you know that is what it is?" The boy quickly responded "because mommy says so." He put the book down and says "Well who is the boss?" again he responds quickly "You are..." long enough for the dad to say "Uh-huh." Then adds "because Mommy says so!"
Mothers have so much influence over a child. They are the ones that get to make the hot cocoa and make things in the home safe and comforting. I love that I get to be that for my children. Miranda said to me the other day "Mom I still love you and think you are the best, even if you are mean to me sometimes." Boy it hurt to hear that but it is so true. Whether it is unkind comments or pulling away when she wants to hang on me (I am really working on that!), she still loves me. She knows I am always here. I am so grateful that Jeremy knew I could be a mom to 6. It isn't always easy but I always enjoy it, sometimes it just happens to be after bedtime. Right this minute I can not picture a bad day without a funny story that accompanies it. That is not to say there aren't any I just don't retain them.
I have been so lucky to have many great examples of mothers in my life, whether it is because they serve, love uncondionally or fight to protect their children in all things as well as many other qualities. I can only hope that I have a little bit of those attributes. I know that my job as a mother is so important. I am helping shape generations. The children I raise are the ones that will influence generations to come. That is a little bit of pressure.
I love this quote from President Hinckley (the former president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) He says "May I suggest that you walk with prayer and faith, with charity and love. Our Father in Heaven has endowed His daughters with a unique and wonderful capacity to reach out to those in distresss, to bring comfort and succor, to bind up the wounds and heal the aching heart."
I can not argue that this is not true, I know it is and I have been blessed with this capacity. The best part is I know it isn't just me it is all women, all mothers!
1 comment:
I was the same way before getting married! I hated babysitting with a passion. Funny how the Lord knows what's best for us, huh? Loved reading your thoughts about motherhood!
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