Monday, April 30, 2012

The week from...

Well it wasn't that bad but I will not be requesting a repeat that is for sure.  All week I wanted to write an emotional dump post.  Half way through the week I finally realized that I don't know how to emotionally deal with the change with Lauren.  I realized I was so busy with the other commitments that I was living in a fog and pushing the emotional aspect in a closet.  Truly I was in survival mode and exhausted at that.  The things I had to get accomplished last week were: binding a class auction quilt, a baby gift basket including a car seat tent, diaper wipes clutch, and flannel burp cloths.  There was classroom volunteering to do, a Girl's Camp kick-off meeting, I helped with another class auction item, swim team practice, preschool for Jackson (luckily it wasn't my week), Lauren's first Diabetes appointment.  Not to mention making dinners, dishes and Haylie and Hannah's first grade plays, for which I was coordinating last minute details while in the hospital with Lauren on Sunday, lunch on the Green for the kids' school, Mormon Helping Hands was Saturday, teaching my regularly scheduled Sunday School Class and substituting for the Sunbeam class as well...I think that is all I had to do. (A sweet girl that I visit teach had her baby this week and ended up in the ER because her baby's jaundice was so high and I didn't even visit her!)  Those were the things I knew about.  On Friday Haylie performed in her school play and unknowing to us had a 102.8 fever, which Miranda joined in and Saturday and it hasn't let up completely, Jackson has come down with pink eye, and now Lauren got shots today and her arm is sore.

This sold at the auction for $45 to help purchase a computer lab for our school!
The carseat handle goes through the loops!
I go a lot accomplished but I could sometimes feel the light headedness when I started thinking too much.  It is amazing how a simple manageable disease can cause such an emotion.  Mentally I am OK with this I know she will be fine, she has adjusted so well that she didn't even cry when she got her last 4 immuization shots for Kindergarten.  She is happy to have diabetes with Jackson and he is happy to share it with her.

With the diabetes we have decided it would be too much to ask anyone to watch our kids while both Jeremy and I went to Girl's Camp.  So Jeremy had to ask them to reconsider having him go to which they fully agreed.  It was hard for him, he felt that he was letting some one down, but had no doubt that he needs to be at close to home.  Jeremy will be able to work but be home to give shots and calculate carbs.  Bev, Jer's Mom will be with the kids while he is at work.

We have been so blessed with supportive friends and family.  I cannot explain how fortunate I feel to be surrounded by so many people who love me and my family.  There is never a doubt we will be taken care of always.

One of the questions that I get asked a lot is "How are you doing?" Very few people get a response from me with tears in my eyes, but a few have seen it.  My response is typically "Good."  I mean honestly it sucks! but what are we going to do?  It isn't devastating, or terminal it is a weird form of vitamins to make your body work properly.  I always want the dominant emotion in my house to be joy, laughter, peace, comfort.  This is a time that I can make that happen or be sad and angry.  I choose to find the joy in it...I mean I am sure there is some sort of college grant for people with type 1 diabetes right?  I have been able to use some creative juices (aka emotional therapy) to decorate their glucose meter cases so we can tell them apart.  I learned that Lauren only likes "alphabet letters not cursive letters" as she cried herself to sleep because she was not happy with the cursive L.
For some reason I can't rotate it!
I guess the main point is I am doing well be it is an adjustment and sometimes it is harder than others.  If I wasn't so busy last week I may have cried more.  The best way to not feel sorry for yourself is to serve others.  I have learned that I need to love my family more, they are the most important thing to me and I cannot have them ever doubt that they are my first priority and I love them very much.  Each one!



brittany doll said...

I love you!!

Emily Merrill said...

Ok I Love checking in with you even though you dont know it. I haven't been to excise class in months and we aren't in the same building, but You make me want to be better and find the joy in the everyday grind of family life:) Thanks you are amazing!

Rebecca & Jeff said...

And you brought me cupcakes tonight, seriously what is my problem. You are amazing April! You were in my thoughts and prayers all week last week, it was the only thing I could think of to do. If you think of some way I can help, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! Let's both try to follow Candace's example. :) I love you my friend!

Bethany said...

You are amazing! And sometimes a good cry feels really good. We are always here to help. Love you guys!

staci said...

Just want you and your family to know that we love you and wish you the best during your time of trials! :) You are a mother of 6 wonderful kids and you are awesome!

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