Sunday, November 06, 2011

Not a proud mommy moment!

On Halloween I had the glorious opportunity to chaperone 3 darling 1st graders to the San Francisco Zoo.  It was a lot of fun and the day was perfect.  It didn't start out that way.  In order for me to go on this trip I did some babysitting so I could swap and Jeremy wouldn't have to take the time off of work or worse I wouldn't be able to go!  Let me tell you getting 6 kids ready for the day including lunches and the other things was stressful.  We get ready and things are going smoothly although I am panicking because I am dropping off two kids and picking one up.  It is always more stressful getting other children to school on time and not just your own.  So we get everyone in the car as I start loosing my cool because my keys were not where I left them two days prior!  To say I threw a full on fit would be an understatement!  I recall throwing things and when the yelling started Jeremy started looking as well.  I could not find them anywhere.  The sad part is that we live a few houses away from the school.  And the sitter lives easy walking distance as well.  But I had to drop the 2 little ones off and a carseat.  If I had planned on walking we could have done it had I know 15 minutes earlier! I couldn't even find the spare key! I then started yelling at the kids to help and they got out of the car.  Then I told them to get back in the car.  I looked some more.  At this point Jeremy offered to let me use his key, but I was too mad, proud, accept, besides I didn't want to hear him say a word about how I am always loosing stuff especially my keys!  Finally I decided we would just walk and be super late.  I told the kids to grab the booster out.  I could just imagine the yelling I would have to do to get Lauren and Jackson to walk FAST so we could attempt to get there on time.  Then I threw the booster seat down and yelled "Dammit!" and ran back inside for one last check for the spare key, which happened to be in it's rightful place. (That is how Jeremy places everything...where it SHOULD go!)

We got in the car and made the swap and ran into the school.  I had at least 1.5 minutes until the teacher walked us in.  Yes we made it on time and my blood was still boiling.  I know where I left my keys and they were not there.  So what if it was on the piano where they do not belong.  I know where I left them.  That day after school I bribed the kids with a slice of cake to find my keys.  Logan found them under the roboquad.  I totally forgot I had hid under the end table and tried to use my car keys to turn on the silly robotic toy!  Oh wait it wasn't me it was one of the dynamic duo who stared at my doe-eyed while I continued to be so uncool as a parent!

And the real reason why I am writing this post.  Tonight at scripture study we were reading and something happened and I said "dang it or should I say darn it?"  And Jeremy quickly responded "Well either one is a lot better than what we heard you say the other day!"  And Miranda said "That is the first time I have heard you swear! Have you ever used a swear word before?"  Wow hello humility!  Then Logan pipes in "Yeah I remember, get in the car, get out of the car, get back in the car, out of the car!"   Jeremy said "I figured I had to wait a few days before I could tease you about that."  Then I asked "You heard that?" to which he responded "I think everyone heard that!"  then we talked a little bit more and Logan piped in "Get in the car!"  Oh man was I embarrassed.  Luckily we were all laughing at my expense.  I try to watch my temper because it can be bad and I have done a pretty decent job to never let it get that bad, it was not pretty or admirable or anything remotely close to keeping the spirit close to me.

As I was kissing the kids goodnight, I asked Logan "I know you remember that moment and it wasn't pretty, but can you think of a good moment where you were so glad I was your mom?"  The best he came up with was "when you cook for me"  It wasn't what I was looking for.  I wanted a specific memory, something that confirmed when he grows into a man that he won't look back at his childhood and remember that ugly mother who visited for a brief moment.  I wanted to hear that he remembered a time when we laughed or when I talked to him after he cried.  Or a moment when he was hurt and I was the one that was there form him.  Later Jeremy said that he is a boy, we don't think that sentimental.  I am satisfied with that, only because I know the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach!  I then asked Miranda and was a little unsatisfied when she answered "Your birthday, my birthday,...."  Then I asked for a specific moment, and it took her a second but she responded "When we went out to frozen yogurt."  It was a good night and a good memory.  It was nice to hear her say that, but at the same time I am truly humbled and know how important it is to ALWAYS be a good example, because it is that one time that they will remember.

Had I been smart enough I would have said it was my Halloween costume, I was acting like a witch, I just hadn't put on the green make-up yet!  Here's hoping I won't have to worry about a repeat appearance!


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