Wordfull Wednesday {Work}

This will be the last one of this series.  We will see if I can come up with some though provoking topics of my own.  I really enjoy the challenge and digging a little deeper, then the childlike atmosphere I live in most of the time!  Check out Chocolate on my Cranium  if you are human the name alone should entice you to take a look at her blog!


Work - President David O. McKay said, “Let us realize that the privilege to work is a gift, that the power to work is a blessing, that love of work is success” How do you instill the value of work in your children? Do they do chores around the house? Do you work together on projects? "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." (Family Proclamation, paragraph7)



Because I married the best example of most things good, I have to use Jeremy as an example.  Jeremy sort of fell into his career.  It was just a job that he took to pass the time until he left for college.  In fact his position was more or less not real.  He did all kinds of odds and ends type of jobs.  Nothing exactly specific...you know the kinds of projects that get shoved in the back corner and ignored.  That is what he did.  Then when he went to Utah for school he got a job at a local credit union and decided he loved the industry.  When we got married and moved back he was able to get a job back at the credit union here.  Through turns of events and divine timing he was promoted, again and again.  I can tell you it wasn't hard for him to go to work and he enjoyed it.  He enjoyed his co-workers, he loved his employer and was passionate about the industry.  We recognized that blessing and we were extremely grateful that he had regular business hours, but more importantly that he loved his job.


Today as the market has changed it makes work a little less cheerful, but he continues to be an example of hard work to me and the children.  When we got married, I carried too much debt so we stayed in CA where the debt was incurred and the wages were able to pay it off quicker.  So it meant Jeremy transferred schools.  Eventually it got too hard (or maybe I got too whiny) and he stopped taking classes for a while.  In the last two years he has really focused on school.


This is what his day is typically like.  Wake up and study from 6:00am to 7:15, then run, come home shower be at work by 8:30.  Work a normal day, often times needing to work through lunch, come home at 6:00 eat dinner, play with the kids as much as time allows, put the kids to bed, then study for another hour.  Then folds laundry, then studies scriptures, pleasure reads (in all honesty for about 2 minutes before the book flops closed on his nose and startles him awake...side note, this is one of my favorite times of day!  He insists he is reading but the man can really fall asleep in -1.25 seconds, it is a gift I tell you.  Anyways he reads and his book falls then he looks at me like "What?"  Then I giggle and he may smile or try and deny he was sleeping.  It happens at least 5 times before he admits to being won over by sleep.  I know cheap entertainment but I love it.)  He works so hard so we don't have to!


Lucky for us he gets Saturdays off and he dedicated one weekend night to strictly family with no studying and we gear Saturday to mostly family activities.


He does an excellent job of teaching our kids the importance of work, not only his job, but working in his calling, and serving as often as possible.  We teach our kids the importance of work by making them help pick up after themselves and each other.  We teach them about serving those around them.  This summer we are actually growing a garden, so they will really get to learn about working to earth.  I can't wait for the rewards of that work.


I am not saying work is easy or that Jeremy is eager to do all these things.  He is exhausted, but he keeps on , keeping on.  He does it out of pure love.

Wordfull Wednesday {Wholesome Recreational Activities}

"Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." Proclamation to the Family, Paragraph 7



When I read this topic I remembered the talk given by Dallin H. Oaks in the October General Conference.  It was called "Good, Better, Best."  I would highly recommend reading it if you aren't familiar with it, or re-read it, if it has been a while.  In summary he is talking about the abundant amount of good things there are to do with our time.  BUT, there are things that are better that should take priority,  And even more importantly there are the best things that we shouldn't ignore.


I struggle with this because I see so many children who are involved in baseball, dance, music lessons, church activities, Boy Scouts.  They are all good wholesome activities.  At times I feel guilty for not getting my kids involved in these things.  Each and everyone takes time, precious time.  I look at my children and wonder which is the better part?  Are these activities going to help them later in life?  Quite possibly yes.  Then I think about the time we get to spend as a family.  The moments when we turn on the sprinklers in our nearly dead lawn, and let the kids run through it.  Then cooling off on our driveway eating Popsicles.

Trying to squirt dad with a squirt gun.  The times when I am asked to sing Hannah to sleep, and it works (I sing a lot like Scuttle from The Little Mermaid).  Or the moments when we bake cookies together.  Even being a little goofy no matter how unattractive it is!

We love our family time and with all the other good activities, especially with 6 kids, we would never get to be spontaneous and often times we would find us split and probably heading in different directions.  We enjoy family walks on Mount Diablo.  Playing the Wii as a family, and the most regular is family meals.  When school is in, we pretty much start and end our day with a family meal, but 98% of the time get to have dinner together.


Dallin H. Oaks says:

We have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families.

In all that we do I hope our children realize how important they are to us and more importantly that we are teaching them about the Savior.  He is the absolute BEST part.  I love the above quote because it states it plain and simple, the best helps develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ AND strengthen our families.  This is the question I should be asking myself when I choose to get involved in something, does this help develop faith and does it strengthen my family?

If you want to participate go to Chocolate on my Cranium.  And add your blog post to Mr. Linky!

FAITH ~~ {Wordfull Wednesday}~~

 "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer..." (Family Proclamation, paragraph 7)

Faith - There are many religions throughout the world. They are different in doctrines, traditions, beliefs, rituals but there are also many similarities. Faith is what keeps families grounded, helps to bring meaning and purpose to our lives. Tell us about your faith - no matter what it is - and how it has helped you in your life. How are you teaching that to your children?

For the first eleven years of my life we pretty much didn't attend church.  We did for a time attend a catholic church but really I am not sure I learned anything from that.  When I was 11 we moved in with my grandma.  We met some girls and they invited us to church with them a few times.  Later my mom met a christian man whom she later married.  As they started to get serious they started "shopping" for a church.  There were a few I remember walking out mid service.  We ended up attending our neighbors church and it was the one that they got married in.

This was my true introduction to faith.  While attending this evangelical church, I had many awesome opportunities such as going to Mexico and doing little day camps for children, then returning the next two years as a team leader.  Back at home I got to help with summer day camps as well.  Then I started working and church really landed on the back burner.  Then I moved out of my parents home and it was something that was just part of my past.  While I didn't make perfect choices, I didn't get into too much trouble either.

Then in came my night in shining armor.  You know the one I brag about in practically every post about families!  He gave me a book of Mormon for Christmas, said I love you, but I am only getting married in the temple, then left for college, to meet lots of ladies who were prepared to meet that requirement.  I was lonely and I had this book, which if I read and believed it would lead me to the temple and be sealed to this man for time and all eternity.

I look back at that time and know how right he was, I was a little offended that I wasn't good enough as is, but now after 10 fabulous, imperfect years, I see!  We have a family were we are unified in what we believe.  We are unified in how we view our Savior and loving Heavenly Father.  Because Jeremy and I are unified in our faith, we have a strong foundation that is stable for our children.  I watch them grow and change.  I love that they are not ashamed of who they are.  They know that they are the children of our Father in Heaven, and what their purpose is here.  I can't help but believe that this has come about because of the wisdom of that young return missionary who didn't compromise his standards.

We had the opportunity to go to a Christian Family Camp with my parents this last summer.  There are lots of differences in how our church runs and how they run theirs.  It was such a neat experience, we got to talk to our children about some of the differences and some of the similarities.  I loved how we as Mormons fit in there.  I am not sure any one knew or if they did if they would have thought of us differently.  We had the opportunity at the very end to thank the Pastor's wife and we explained that we were Mormon and we really enjoyed their camp.  There were so many aspects of it that we wish we could start here.  There were so many great memories.  I am grateful that just because we have different beliefs we didn't miss that opportunity.  I love that people can be of different faiths and still love to be in each other's company.

Serving others {Wordfull Wednesday}

Because I was so busy serving others this week I almost missed the opportunity to write.  I look forward to this every time it comes up.  If you are interested you can go to Chocolate on My Cranium and see the schedule of topics here.

"Parents have the sacred duty to teach [their children] to love and serve one another" Family Proclamation paragraph 6

Back to my first sentence it really isn't true, but it sounded good and I truly wish it was.  There have been times when life gets difficult and it would be so easy to slip into a depression, nothing seems to be getting better, life is hard, what's the point when you can't get out of the big hole you feel you are in?  We have found that through service it makes anything better.  It is amazing how service can be such a powerful antidote to all those feelings.

I know when you serve, willingly and with a servant's heart, a couple of things will happen.  The biggest is that you stop thinking about yourself.  I have a few kids and you think it would be hard to be selfish.  I can tell you I am very selfish with my time.  I want to craft, I want to read, I want to cook, I want to stay up  super late when the house is peaceful and I can have many complete thoughts..one after the other uninterupted.  I don't want to sit at the table and watch the kids color, or do things that are messy, such as crafts and playdough that I have to pick up.  I don't want to be a jungle gym or Gumby, being pulled and and pushed around by three children at the same time.

On the flip side when I do those things that I "don't" like, I get to see the joy on my children's face when I give them undivided attention.  I think service is such a great medicine.  It allows you to see joy in others and share in that joy as well as when you serve, it makes you realize the blessings you have.  There have been times when life is overwhelming, then you get the opportunity to serve and you realize "Wow, my life could be a whole lot worse."

Our favorite way to serve is to make some form of food and deliver them.  People love to be thought of.  It is so wonderful when you get that surprise.  We have a neighbor who became a widow about a year after we bought our house.  We went over there and brought her some cookies and boy did that make her day.  Not only did she love that we thought of her, it improved our relationship as neighbors.  Now she adores our kids.  I know she is lonely, she has no family nearby and seldom has visitors.  I know that little thought means a great deal to her.  The kids really get a kick out of delivering things to people.  In fact there are usually arguments as to who gets to carry the treat.

In association with Mormon Helping hands, there was a statewide service project.  You can read a little about it here.  They had sites all over the state of California where service opportunities were organized.  Our ward family worked at an arboretum pulling weeds, painting signs, some planting, and various other things.  It was fun to not only serve, but serve surrounded by those that we want our children to look up to.  We got to laugh and enjoy the time we spent.  Towards the end they got to ride on the flat bed wagons when they helped unload garbage can and other various weeds.  That made things even better for the kids.  At another site there was even a story where a few people were walking through and asked what was going on and said that was pretty cool and joined in.  How cool is that?!

What was even more neat about this was that our kids were able to learn that service was rewarding.  I won't lie and say it was all perfect, it is hard to keep the kids going.  I think I pulled weeds for the first hour then pushed the two little ones in the stroller, helping to deliver water and then anything to kept them entertained.

After it was all over the person in charge of the arboretum gave all the volunteers tomato plants.  A sweet little reward was that there was a wedding scheduled that afternoon.  So not only did we help out but we helped make the location extra beautiful for a couple beginning their life together.

Lastly we teach our kids about service through serving in our callings at church.  The kids have learned that our church jobs are important.  It takes sacrifice and time, but it is rewarding in the end.  We also teach our kiddos that being an example is a form of service.  We live in a small ward as far as youth is concerned.  It is getting bigger but that is from age 5 and younger.  There is not a whole lot of older examples.  We try to make our kids understand that when they are involved they will be teaching the younger kids how to behave.  It is their choice whether or not they are a good example, but when they are good it supports their church leaders in teaching correct principles.  Especially when the little ones see someone they look up to behaving appropriately.

I do love serving at church, I am not always happy about it, sometimes overwhelmed, even burnt out at times.  For right now I am without a calling (aka a church responsibility) and it is really weird.  People say enjoy it while it lasts, but honestly, when you are serving you feel connected and right now I am just a floater.  I know it won't be long but in the mean time, I can't wait for the next opportunity.  I hope my children see that and know how important service is.

Wordfull Wednesday {Caring for your Family}

"Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children." (Family Proclamation, paragraph 6)

When I think of our home, my family, I am quickly reminded of how much laughter these walls contain.  I have a new sense of family than I did when growing up.  It is amazing how much joy there is to be had when everyone in the home feels loved.

Lately Logan has been having a hard time.  I blame it mostly on him being a tad on the emotional side.  Jeremy being a little more intune with the spirit, sat him down to talk.  It was such a neat thing for me to hear that Logan opened up about his frustrations.  This to me shows that he knows that we are safe, that we love him.  Jeremy has started having interviews with the kids once a month.  It is a time when they get to talk to him about anything without sharing Daddy's ear.  For the younger ones it is a time to wrestle and bond.

As a family we love doing things together.  We have, so far steered clear of activities such as sports.  For a few reasons, such as, doing it for 6 kids will equate to a hectic schedule.  Another, it feels like we get too little family time and those things tend to diminish it even further.  The biggest reason is that Jeremy and I know there will be opportunities later so we don't need to rush them now.

Some fun things that we enjoy is creating fun memories.  As a family we love to do dinner and a movie.  It is still fairly new and I am finding many great ideas to make it more memorable.  What we have done so far is pick a family friendly movie and create a dinner menu based on the theme.  The kids get to help come up with the menu.  It is the only time we eat in front of the television.  We also let the children each have a special night.  This is one of the occasions that we do split Haylie and Hannah up.  They get to stay up late and pick what we will do.  Usually it involves ice cream and games or a movie.  All of them adore being the center of attention.  It is like a date night but staying in and it is something they talk about and share it with anyone with ears before and after.  To make them also feel special we try to celebrate accomplishments like perfect spelling tests or acing their math blasts as they come up.

Having 6 kids it is so easy to get overlooked and it is hard to not lump them together, but as parents we try very hard to let them be individuals, except Lauren I wish she would be a tad less individual.  Today we had a particularly hard day.  Lauren tried every last smidge of patience, which is what I get when I pray for patience!  I had sent her to her bed for the umpteenth time and told her to stay there.  I was so frustrated and beyond being a loving and caring mother.  As I could feel the steam pouring out of my ears and wondering why I pray for patience when I know how that gets answered, it came to me to pray.  So I gathered Lauren into my lap and told her how much I loved her and that I was very sorry I got so angry.  Her countenance changed instantly.  She went from cranky pouty two year old to beaming at me and giving me the tightest squeeze ever.  Then I asked her if she wanted to pray together.  She agreed and closed her eyes and bowed her head.  I decided to say it, then on her own she repeated everything I said.  Everything that I was so tense about melted away.  Then I asked her to lay down and I was able to hold her until she fell asleep.

In the June 2006 Ensign Elder L. Tom Perry said "Our Lord and Savior ministered personally to the people, lifting the downtrodden, giving hope to the discouraged, and seeking out the lost. By His words and actions, He showed the people that He loved and understood and appreciated them. He recognized the divine nature and eternal worth of each individual. Even when calling people to repentance, He condemned the sin without condemning the sinner.



Like our Savior, (insert parent) we should love the people we serve, showing care and concern for each one individually."
The Savior came to live here on this earth so that we may learn to live like he did and treat others the same way.  I am learning and plan to continue to learn my whole life through, but I do know that when we follow His example, those that we serve will KNOW that we love them unconditionally.

Wordfull Wednesday: Equal Partners

Being Equal Partners, What does that mean to you? "In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." (Family Proclamation, paragraph 7)


I feel this topic is a little redundant in the inital thoughts I have had.  I have talked about the roles I feel the fathers have and those that the mothers have, and how Jeremy and I are in our relationship.  This topic made me search a little deeper into the topic and seek other ideas.  I think it will help the way I look at my marriage.

I came across a talk "Crossing Thresholds and Becoming Equal Partners" by Elder Bruce C. Hafen of the Seventy.

It starts out with this scenerio:

His house key is in the lock. He’s home from work and about to step inside. In the kitchen, real life is scattered all around. The baby is crying. The three-year-old just poured milk—not in a glass but all over the counter. The seven-year-old needs some daddy attention. And dinner isn’t ready.


With a deadline at work tomorrow, a head buzzing from rush-hour traffic, and a Church meeting tonight, he’s hoping she will greet him with some relief.


Hearing him come in, she is glad a relief party has arrived! But when she sees his face fall as he looks around, she defends herself: “Look—I work all day too. I’ve been with these kids nonstop, and I really need a break. Will you please fix this macaroni and cheese and help with the kids?”

In the heat of her request, his hope evaporates into exasperation, and he is about to react.

At this crossroads of their busy day, these two have some choices. Will they use this moment to practice being the kind of companion each has covenanted to become? Or will each one default to past conditioning—familial and cultural? Certain attitudes and ideas have crept into the very air they breathe, challenging them as they try to work with each other rather than against each other.

This is our house almost daily, although Jeremy is the one to roll up his sleeves and dig in and I will continue trying to get dinner on the table, which has become more of a struggle sas of late.  I believe on Monday we were actually eating dinner at 8:15pm when he walked in the door from a late night at work.  It was totally my fault not his, but I think he was glad to at least have a meal with his family.  It makes the hardships of the day more tolerable!

It is at these times when you are both at your wits end and just need relief that you can tell how equal your relationship is.  If one is alway throwing their hands up in the air and saying it is your turn.  There isn't an equality or respect for their partner, I am not aying which one.  It could be the one who constanly dumps on the wife or the wife who is never rolling up her sleeves and digging in.  I think it is out of respect for me that Jeremy comes into the home after a long, grueling, stressful day at work, with the simple desire to relax and enjoy the one thing that matters most to him, that he ALWAYS gives me a kiss and gets to work.  By doing this it allows me time to get dinner prepared and cool down and we get to enjoy a meal together where we are all relaxed and most at ease.

Later in the article it says:

Temple marriage covenants do not magically bring equality to a partnership. Those covenants commit us to a developmental process of learning and growing together—by practice.

You know that saying if it is not worth working for it isn't worth it, this is just like that.  When you get married, it means that you have the initial love for each other (earlier in this article it states that "love is not a possession but participation," that means WORK!).  Marriage is about communication, commitment, and work!  It is through the hard times that your love grows and the bonds of marriage are stronger.  I feel Jeremy and I are blessed to have the marriage that we do, I try not to take it for granted and make sure he knows how valuable I know he is to me.  I know he is far wiser than I am.  I have always been similar to a tea kettle (I think I have said this repeatedly!) I simmer, simmer, simmer, where no one can see, then the steam blows and lets out a nice powerful whistle.  That is what I do and from the beginning, I don't know if it was wisdom or fear from my startling response, Jeremy has always let me blow off that steam.  After that I could talk about it AND do so reasonably.

The article ends with this:
If our young couple could only know that this love is what they could feel and understand at the end of their lives, what wouldn’t they give! They’d listen more and choose better, over and over, day after day, crossing after crossing. They would learn, by patient experience, that “work is love made visible.” They would realize as the years pass that their marriage is helping them become better disciples of Jesus Christ, even becoming a little more like Him. Then they would understand as they cross the final threshold of mortality that the extent to which they have become one with Him is the extent to which they are one with each other.

So in the end it is about having an equal partnership of three, you, your spouse and a loving Father in Heaven.  The more each person in the marriage tries to be Christlike the stronger the marriage will be and you will be able to see that equality of partnership shine through.

I am grateful for the opportunity to put some thought into this topic.  I am far from a perfect wife and I would be lying if I didn't say that I feel, at times, Jeremy didn't exactly choose wisely when he married me.  I feel like I am dropping the ball most days when the never ending list of chores lay untouched but my leisure book is read, and I am caught up on my blog reading and emails for the day.  Yet I remain stressed that the house is a mess.  Jeremy knows I try and that I love him, when times get tough, he knows I am always here waiting to support him in all things and that is what matters most.

Wordfull Wednesday...or Friday: Mothers

Last time the topic was fathers so to be fair this weeks topic is Mothers, which I happen to think are awesome.  In the Proclamation to the Family it says "By divine design...Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children." (Family Proclamation, paragraph 7).

Before Jeremy and I got married we talked about future plans. We knew our plans had to align with the major topics.  One that I have found is a big hurdle in some marriages is being a stay at home mom.  There is always this "war" of stay at home mom vs. a working mom.  I don't think if you are one of those it means you are automatically bad if you are the other.  I do however feel that it is the mother's roll to care for and nurture her children.  On that Jeremy and I have always been unified.  I did work part time for the first 5 months after Miranda was born.  I was lucky enough to take her with me, but at the same time, I was no longer able to give 100% to my job, nor 100% to my child.  She would get fussy and I would have no choice but let her cry so I could just finish my work and be mom again.  It was a struggle.

This maybe funny to those of you who really know me, but I did want to be a mom of exactly 2...eventually.  I wanted to be a successful career woman, then when I was done, be a mom.  (This was completely opposite of Jeremy's plan for a wife ; )  I never liked babysitting and really had little interest in holding other babies.  Granted they were cute but really I had no desire.  I would have never come close lo labeling me as a baby person, or that I had the makings of all-star mom (I still wouldn't qualify as all-star!)  By the time Jeremy and I were on the marriage track together, I was tired of school, tired of work, and just wanted what my sisters had, I wanted to be a mom.  Now I have 6 kids and a lot to learn, but I know how important I am to my kids and how important they are to me. 

A couple of months ago I had Jury Duty.  It was 5 days total and most of the time I was home within an hour of the older ones getting home from school.  On my last day Logan and Miranda were so happy that I didn't have Jury Duty the next day.  I realized how much they treasure me being able to stay at home.  Just knowing I was available made them happy, even though they don't need me on most occassions.  Staying at home is not without some sacrifice, but it is a decision we both stand by.

I am always amazed at how much a mommy's kiss can make a boo-boo all better.  One little kiss can stop the tears from falling and heal anything quickly enough that they can continue on their merry way.  I love having that power.  There was a story that was shared at conference this past month, hopefully I won't botch it.  I can't even remember who shared it or which session.  This man shared how he was telling a story to his child.  He used one of those books that doesn't have words just pictures, so everytime it really could be a different story.  As he was telling his child the story he would use a word like coat.  The child would interupt and say no it's a jacket.  He gave an example or two more.  A tad bit frustrated he asks "How do you know that is what it is?"  The boy quickly responded "because mommy says so."  He put the book down and says "Well who is the boss?" again he responds quickly "You are..." long enough for the dad to say "Uh-huh."  Then adds "because Mommy says so!"

Mothers have so much influence over a child.  They are the ones that get to make the hot cocoa and make things in the home safe and comforting.  I love that I get to be that for my children.  Miranda said to me the other day "Mom I still love you and think you are the best, even if you are mean to me sometimes."  Boy it hurt to hear that but it is so true.  Whether it is unkind comments or pulling away when she wants to hang on me (I am really working on that!), she still loves me.  She knows I am always here.  I am so grateful that Jeremy knew I could be a mom to 6.  It isn't always easy but I always enjoy it, sometimes it just happens to be after bedtime.  Right this minute I can not picture a bad day without a funny story that accompanies it.  That is not to say there aren't any I just don't retain them.

I have been so lucky to have many great examples of mothers in my life, whether it is because they serve, love uncondionally or fight to protect their children in all things as well as many other qualities.  I can only hope that I have a little bit of those attributes.  I know that my job as a mother is so important.  I am helping shape generations.  The children I raise are the ones that will influence generations to come.  That is a little bit of pressure.

I love this quote from President Hinckley (the former president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)  He says "May I suggest that you walk with prayer and faith, with charity and love.  Our Father in Heaven has endowed His daughters with a unique and wonderful capacity to reach out to those in distresss, to bring comfort and succor, to bind up the wounds and heal the aching heart."

I can not argue that this is not true, I know it is and I have been blessed with this capacity.  The best part is I know it isn't just me it is all women, all mothers!

Wordfull Wednesday: Fathers

Topic: Father's Role in a Family "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." (Family Proclamation, paragraph 7)

This subject is especially dear to me.  As the years have gone on, I have realized that the people I am drawn to or have a healthy amount of confidence, that seem (I said seem because no one ever REALLY is) well balanced, are ones who have a good, healthy relationship with their fathers.  I think this is so important.  Being raised mostly by my mom until I was 12 when she remarried, I didn't get to really see what a father's role was in the family.  For the most part, my friends also came from a similar situation.  This is the same for Jeremy as well.

I know in the world today it is constantly inferred that women are equal to men, which I agree, but where I feel differently is that men and women each have a role to play.  Men are given the natural desire to solve problems and provide for their families neccesities, using their mind.  Where women are more driven by their heart.  This is also not to say that women are dumb and men are heartless, I said MORE driven, there is a balance.

I see some marriages where the woman is dominant and it seems to work well, but I can't help but wonder how the husband feels when the wife takes over.  Does it make him feel that he doesn't provide well for his family, that she does not trust his ability to care properly for his family, does it take away from his role? 

I feel it is Jeremy's divine role as husband and father to receive guidance, counsel, and inspiration on how to lead our family, it is my role to be his partner in following that counsel.  If I really have a problem then we get to talk about it and since he is a righteous man he does listen to my concerns.  Jeremy is the head of our household and I trust him explicitly with that.  I know with out a doubt that he has the best intentions to care for our family and each one of us knows that he loves us.

I love to watch how each of the kids interact with him on a daily basis, there is not enough time in the day for Jeremy to spend a much time as he wants with our kids, but he makes an effort to hug our kids daily and make sure they know he loves them.  He does not rule our house with a heavy hand or the threat of fear.  Our kids always feel safe in his presence and they are proud to call him daddy.  Ever since they could crawl each of them heads to the door when he gets home from work.  Haylie and Hannah bouce over to him and into his arms with a tight squeeze.  Logan quickly requests some Wii time with him.  Miranda always knows he will ask about her day.  Jackson and Lauren know that we will change diapers and get their milk cups for them, often times followed by some cuddle time.

I am sure Jeremy is probably getting tired of reading about "how awesome" he is, but I could not have asked for a better husband and father to guide our family, to provide for us and to help us always feel safe in our home.  I don't feel that I am the only one who has gotten this lucky, I think everyone who is happy feels this way, it is the way the Lord created his plan for marriage.  We are two equal pieces in this great Plan of Happiness, it was how it was designed.

Wordfull Wednesday

I am getting the hang of this Wordfull Wednesday thing, if you want to join in here is the link to the topics for the next two months.

This weeks topic is: Nurturing love and friendship in marriage "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other..." (Family Proclamation, paragraph 6)

I have been married for going on ten years, phew, can you believe I am that old?  I was able to marry my best friend.  In the years that we have been married, we have been abundantly blessed to grow in affection, adoration and respect for one another.  On a sad note we have seen several seemingly great relationships end in divorce.  It is heartbreaking, the thought of families falling apart is so sad.  I truly understand the importance of a mother and father in the home.  Both Jeremy and I come from families that resulted in divorce.  We both know of the emptiness that can result from the lack of having our father in our home rooting for you, or teaching you the things that only a father can.  I was fortunate enough that my dad always lived close but my mom also remarried and she found quite the catch.


When we first got married I would get so frustrated and stomp off.  I knew that I am fairly similar to a tea pot.  I simmer, simmer, simmer, then blow.  He, on the other hand, never simmers, and never blows.  He has always been patient with me and knows when to let me blow off steam, then I am reasonable.  We have found better ways to communicate.  Some of our favorite times are when we are sitting in our living room just chatting away about anything and everything.  It is not always fascinating to both of us, but we each take our turns pretending that we are interested.  Truthfully, even the stuff "I don't care" about, is educational.  I learn who my husband is, who he is becoming, and who he wants to be.  We all change over time as we gain experience in life.  I definitely do not want to wake up when our kids are grown and wonder, who is this man that I married and where did he come from?

We have a relationship where we both get to play strength and weakness, luckily it has been at different times.  Although it was a hard time when my husband was struggling with a stressful situation, he felt like falling apart, I was able to be his strength, to encurage him and just be a support.  It was hard to watch my rock, fall apart.  On the otherside though, it was wonderful to be his rock.  I learned how important I was to our relationship.  He is not perfect but he is to me, so I feel I fall short of deserving him.  This was one of the first times that I felt worthy of all his hard work and dedication to our family.  Of course he is my strength every other day, when he comes home from work to a messy house, pans boiling over, kids screaming, and me at my wit's end.  He comes home, gives me a kiss and a squeeze, even when I give him the infamous "Hill look" then gets right down to business, usually filling up milk cups, then changing poopy pants.  Followed quickly by starting the laundry, getting the kids to clean up after miraculously only asking one time.  Setting the table, and hugging me again.

In all the ways that I feel inadequate, he accepts me and loves me.  I know his devotion to me will never waiver.  Of that I am confident.  This is all about how my companion and best friend loves and nurtures me.  I get to love and nurture our relationship too,.  What means the most to him is all the cooking.  The saying that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach is so true in our marriage.  I learned fairly quickly that my man can eat.  He was patient as I learned to cook.  Now he would claim I am a good cook.  Don't take that too seriously, his taste buds are pretty easy to please.

Together we try to make the moments we get to be together quality and memorable, making sure to laugh and enjoy that time we get.  One of our favorite dates is when we put the kids to bed and get dinner and dessert take out and putting on a good movie.  It is those moments that really help bond us as friends and as husband and wife.  I love him so much and cannot think of a better person to spend all of my life and there after with, the best part is that I know that he feels the same way.